She’s a maniac.

Every now and again, Jennifer Bruce Scott becomes a contortionist on the outbound Parkway East.

“It isn’t easy,” she says. “You should try changing from your work clothes into a pair of basketball shorts while speeding down the Parkway in your car and trying to get to Monroeville as fast as you can. And, believe me, I’ve done it more than just a few times.”

I don’t know about you, but I feel so much safer knowing that this maniac is sharing the Parkway East with me.

God help us all.


  1. bucdaddy
    February 5, 2007 9:32 am

    I hope she’s putting on her makeup, eating and yakking on her cell at the same time she’s changing clothes. It would be so much more terrifyingly efficient of her to scare the bejeezus out of a few people for a short time than everyone all the time.

  2. Annette
    February 5, 2007 11:29 am

    At least, being a nurse, she can slap a bandage on you after she forces you off the road and into a tree. That is IF she takes the time to pull over and help. It might make her late for practice.

  3. Steve
    February 5, 2007 11:57 am

    I her defense there is very little speeding on the parkway east anytime after 3:00 PM. The place is a parking lot from bates street until the tunnels. Plenty of time to do all of the above while moving at 5 mph…

  4. Steve
    February 5, 2007 11:58 am

    In her defense … sorry for the ytpo

  5. billybob
    February 6, 2007 3:30 pm

    much to the horror of all SUV and truck drivers who happen to pass and peer down in her car for a look at a hot young thang in a short skirt.

  6. shannon
    February 7, 2007 1:42 pm

    I almost had a stroke when I read this. She’s proud of being an irresponsible jackass?? I don’t know, when I change into my gym clothes, it only takes me about 3 minutes from start to finish, including the time to put my street clothes in the locker and close the padlock. Seems to me that no matter how late she’s running for her practice, she could just take the time to change once she gets there. What? No dressing room, you say? Well, why not just change in her car?

    People are so stupid sometimes, I could just spit.