1. It should be illegal for a radio commercial to use a police siren as a background noise. Damn near caused an accident slamming on my brakes.
2. This totally explains why whenever I’m speaking to a man who is very sweaty, with big armpit stains, and a decidedly pungent nose-burning odor emanating from his pores, I am overcome with the strong desire to bed him immediately. Seriously, as a woman, I can tell you that this study is a load of shit. (Hat tip to my friends over here.)
3. We might get up to eight inches of snow tomorrow. I’m kind of not happy about that.
4. Why are you going to jump into the icy river below, causing a big rescue operation, if you don’t really want to die? I will never understand the mentally unstable.
5. I haven’t seen a pigeon in a week. Do you think they’re up to something?