Where do I start?

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Wondering from my last post if perhaps the pigeons really ARE up to something, I did a Google News search for the word pigeon and boy, did I hit the jackpot if there was an “Awesome Pigeon Story” jackpot:

A man who took off his clothes and beat a dead pigeon on a car outside a home in Suffolk has been sentenced to a year in prison for animal cruelty.

Juan Pablo Lopez of Virginia Beach, who was 30 years old at the time of the incident last July, was sentenced Monday by a Suffolk judge. Lopez pleaded guilty last year to burglary, obstruction of justice and animal cruelty.

He received no time for the burglary and obstruction charges. Police say Lopez broke into the home, destroyed bird cages and freed some chickens and pigeons and killed several of them. The homeowners pulled into their driveway and saw Lopez come running out naked, bashed a dead bird against their car and ran away.

Where do I start?

1. Do I start with just the awesomeness of the first line of the article? Do I make that my new email signoff?

2. Do I start with: Yeah, a pigeon can make you THAT crazy.

3. Do I start with the hilarity that he will do no time for burglary, but my GOD, you beat a pigeon and your ass is going away for a year.

4. Do I start with: NAKED! Awesome!

5. Do I start with just the general mental image I am getting of a naked hispanic man beating a dead pigeon on a car and the fact that that mental image is bringing a big knowing smile to my face?

Nah, I’m going to start with: WHO THE HELL KEEPS A PIGEON AS A PET?!?!

And I’m going to end there, too.


  1. Lino Gunn
    February 12, 2007 9:22 pm

    Did you know, our beloved pigeon was orignally imported from Olde England, as a food item. They are members of the rock dove family, same as the cute little tan birdie thats coos in the tree in front of the house just beyond the white picket fence.

    In England they are about twice the size of their cousins which haunt the streets of the ‘Burgh. The local yobs practice a unique sport in London, it’s called punting. You see, being twice the size of our local birds they are half as fast and the local thug youths attemp to kick (as in punt) the birds as they walk about. Many times in an explosion of feathers and flapping of wings.

    Most likely PittGirl might enjoy the spectacle.

  2. sallypierre
    February 13, 2007 12:33 am

    in austin several weeks ago when the pigeons and grackels and other flying things started dropping out of the sky. word is someone was having fun with taser.

    guess someones taser came in the mail.

  3. Michael Rinsem
    February 13, 2007 7:07 am

    I’m convinced that the animal world is starting an uprising against us. First the deer that were running through Target last year, then these pidgeons attacking PittGirl, and I’ve been fighting my own battle with some turkeys! Let’s stand together people! Fight together!

  4. Dave
    February 13, 2007 9:56 am

    yea…that’s pretty much the awesome pigeon story jackpot alright…..