Lukey’s next billboard.

Chinese scientists may have found a solution to the problem of pigeons in Trafalgar Square: the first remotely controlled bird.

They have successfully implanted electrodes in the brain of a pigeon to control its movements via a computer.

Scientists at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Center at Shandong University of Science and Technology in eastern China said the electrodes could make the pigeon fly right or left or up or down.

Great. Now if we can get our hands on this technology in the Burgh, I can just have all the little bastards ram themselves into the side of the PPG Tower over and over again.

Hey, we’ve got WiFi. I think remote-controlled pigeons are the next logical technological acquisition.

And then it would only be a matter of time before we would see billboards all over the city that say, “Welcome to Luke Ravenstahl’s Pigeon-Controlled Pittsburgh!”

Hat tip to Clarion.


  1. Susan Helene Gottfried
    February 27, 2007 4:37 pm

    Yeah, but imagine the public outcry when it’s noticed that all those pigeon brains and blood have changed the color of the building. Maybe ram them into the Ariba building instead? If you’re lucky, you can get the letters to fall again.

  2. bucdaddy
    February 27, 2007 8:03 pm

    Best not steer them near the convention center.

  3. PittCheMBA
    February 27, 2007 10:15 pm

    If the PA Gaming Commission can propose deer snipers to control the deer population in Mt Lebo, why can’t they do the same for pigeons in downtown Pittsburgh? What happened to the infamous pigeon sniper?

  4. Jeeperz
    February 28, 2007 9:21 am

    Gaming Commission? You need a slots license to be a deer sniper?

  5. Bob
    February 28, 2007 9:46 am

    Ram them into the Cathedral of Learning — it’s about to be scrubbed anyway. Or else just leave the blood-n-guts coating on it. It would complete the Barad-Dur feeling of the place.

  6. Zorro
    February 28, 2007 9:54 am

    Dive bomb them into the rivers – nature’s septic system will carry them away where they will provide nutrients for fish and other aquatic species. A few can be smashed into the Gulf Tower to feed the wee peregrin falcons when they’re born.

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