Come to my pole-dancing retirement party!

I’ve been to almost every kind of home party imaginable:  makeup, candles, The Cult of Pampered Chef, random house crap,  sex toy party, etc.  You know how many things I still own from those parties?  Zero.  Oh, wait.  No, I still have the wooden spoons from The Cult, but that’s it.

What I haven’t yet done is a Pole Dancing Party courtesy of a local company called Pole Dancing Divas run by a player for the Pittsburgh Passion.

The laughing and cheering at our pole dance parties is amazing.  It’s an experience that may just be the most fun you’ve ever had with your girlfriends.   It’s a fantastic workout for the body and soul—at the end of the night you will not be the same person you were when you arrived!  Don’t think our parties are just for the young and agile, they’re suitable for women of all ages, all shapes and sizes!

You know what mental image I don’t need filed in my “Pops into my head all the damn time” file?  The image of a 200 lb. 84-year-old woman straddling a pole.

No thanks.

One of the suggested uses on the site is to have a Pole Dancing Retirement Party.

Know what other mental image I don’t need filed in my “Pops into my head all the damn time” file?  The image of 15 retirees trying to do the Fireman spin while dressed like they fell out of Moulin Rouge.

No thanks.  Very much.

I give it about a week before I get invited to one of these things.  And I’ll have to go.  And I’ll rock at it.

Also, be sure to check out the thongs they sell (kinda sorta safe for work).  I just want you to know that if you are one of those girls that buys the “sexy light up thong” which the site recommends you wear to the clubs, that I will be the hot girl at the bar pointing at you and calling you a slut.

You can see the thong in action here (mostly kinda safe for work).


  1. Sofa King
    March 8, 2007 9:19 am

    “Pole Work is limited to women 250 lbs. or less”—definitely a rule I live by…

  2. a straight guy in his late 30's
    March 8, 2007 9:34 am

    great, society is just about completed with its mission to turn our young women into low-achieving whores so let’s turn our attention to the older ones now.

    my 17 year old niece sent me some pictures of her and her girlfriends – holding bottles of beer, smoking cigarettes, and pole dancing – a typical evening or weekend activity for them. clueless that underage drinking and smoking is something she probably should not be doing, thus to keep it under wraps.

    whatever happened to aerobics as good exercise? or running? tennis? volleyball? PUMP co-ed league?

    this just in, a fabulous new exercise! blowjobbery!! it exercises your neck muscles, salivary glands, and swallowing skills! excellent!

  3. Sofa King
    March 8, 2007 9:54 am

    I hear that, SGIHL30’s. I’m only 8 years out of high school, and even I am surprised at how blatantly underage teens flaunt their alcohol, tobacco, and even drug abuse…not to mention sex. “When I was their age” those things were still mildly taboo- pretty much everyone did them and everyone knew, but we didn’t post them all over the WWW for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to see.

    Then again, we really didn’t have digital cameras then, either…hmm….

  4. The Comet
    March 8, 2007 10:31 am

    That is the least alluring piece of underdrawers I have ever seen or could possibly imagine. It reminds me of the Disney World Main Street Electrical Parade.

  5. Chris
    March 8, 2007 10:32 am

    “‘Pole Work is limited to women 250 lbs. or less’—definitely a rule I live by…”

    Sofa king: 250lbs or less?!?! Sounds like someone’s goin hoggin! I mean, jesus man…..what, do you date girls from the east or something? How about we say 150lbs or less? – regardless of what weight restrictions are on the damn pole.


  6. Ms. Caroline
    March 8, 2007 11:01 am

    Yes, I love feeling *sexy* in front of my friends…

  7. lynne
    March 8, 2007 11:32 am

    the site is hysterical – they have a “portable pole” for drop or cathedral ceilings? I’d like to see that support some of the people at Becky’s party (photos in the gallery) who definitely are pushing the weight limit. Also very disgusting by the windex and paper towel in the photo – ewwwww.

  8. Julie_Gong
    March 8, 2007 11:34 am

    I was just invited to one of these parties. I declined.

    I am not paying $40 to watch other girls learn how to be sexy by a memeber of the Pittsburgh Passion. I mean I giggled the whole way through the sex toy party about how serious the girls were about dildos.

  9. pittgirl
    March 8, 2007 11:36 am

    When I wrote this post, I said, now THIS is a post that Julie Gong is going to comment on. Thanks for proving me right. :)

  10. Sofa King
    March 8, 2007 12:01 pm

    Lol…Chris, I was joking…although I do come from a long line of chubby-chasers.

    Yeah, Julie, nothing like having a linebacker teach ya how to feel sexy.

    “Serious about dildos”…sounds like a catchy slogan.

  11. spoon
    March 8, 2007 12:51 pm

    hey now! hold the bus right there… what’s this about blowjobbery?

  12. WrigleyG
    March 8, 2007 2:04 pm

    Oh brother….I am at work and dying of laughter. Somebody just asked if I was ok because I was shaking so badly and when I showed him this website he started laughing. HAHAHA this is GREAT!! Thanks for making my day PittGirl.

  13. Julie_Gong
    March 8, 2007 3:46 pm

    I’m glad I didn’t disappoint you.

  14. Pinto Alegre
    March 8, 2007 11:23 pm

    Oh…my…God…SO many things I can say about this posting — and the associated web site. I give this woman credit for doing something different in the “girl party” world. Not real sure about those wigs and outfits the women are wearing in the pictures either, but hey — whatever rocks their boat!

    My favorite part of her web site is this:

    “…so my husband built me a stage with a pole and once I tried it I was totally hooked!!! I purchased every Pole Dance video I could locate and practiced, practiced, practiced. Needless to say I never get bored with my pole!!!”

    Of course your husband is going to build you a stage with a pole. What husband wouldn’t want their wife to practice dancing like a stripper? This way you can get all the dances you want at home without the cheap beer and crack whores demanding $20 each time.

    “Never get bored with my pole?” — are you talking about the stripper pole or your husband? :)

  15. Alix
    March 9, 2007 6:05 am

    Why is it you seem to get so many comments any time there’s a mention of you and poles and thongs and dancing? Hmm?

  16. Linda
    March 12, 2007 3:57 pm

    I went to a Pole Dancing Diva Party and it was a lot of fun! I was a little hesitant at first and almost didn’t but I had a blast. They don’t have any sex toys or porn type stuff at the parties. We just learned some basic Pole & Dance moves and put it into a routine. Everyone had fun cheering each other on. It was fun putting on costumes & dancing around the pole & posing for pictures at the end of the party. It was the most fun I’ve ever had at a Home Party! It sure beats the candle parties or home interiors parties and I didn’t spend as much as I do at those parties, only $20. I would definately do it again!! I did buy a thong too! They are really nice & my hubby loved it when I suprised him with it that night.

  17. Colleen
    May 23, 2007 11:46 pm

    Want to have some REAL fun!! and actually learn some real pole dancing moves but a girl that is actually CERTIFIED to teach pole dancing?!

    Call Lexi at XXX-ERCISE. She is THE BEST!!!
    I went to a diva party and an XXX-ERCISE party and let me tell you the XXX-ERCISE party BLEW ME and my friends AWAY!! She is a young hott girl who is a BLAST!!! – she brings tons of props, beauty services, sex toys (if you want them) as well as teach you some crazy stuff for the pole – not just the basics!! by the end of the night with XXX-ERCISE you just want more!!

    You seriously gotta try XXX-ERCISE and ditch the ol bag from the dancing divas..cause she ain’t no Diva!(Check the photos to see for yourself!)

    Check out my girl:

  18. Lori
    June 1, 2007 7:18 pm

    Pole Dancing Diva Parties are a blast! Just checkout their website with pictures & videos and you’ll see!!! I’ve only heard rave reviews on their home parties & attendees at the classes they hold at my bar (Pleasant Bar) in Pleasant Hills. They also are suppose to open a studio in 2008. They have no X-rated stuff (XXX) or porn name associated with their company. They & other Pole Party companies are trying to get the negativity of stripping & porn away from Pole Dancing and view it more as a form of fitness & to feel good about yourself. They stress you don’t have to be Hot & look like a stripper to spin on the pole. Pole Dancing Diva parties are just good clean fun & run by a super down to earth lady who is in her 40’s, mother of 4 kids & can sure have a lot of fun. Women are more comfortable with a average mom than a hot stripper chick teaching them pole dancing. I would definately recommend if you want to learn Pole Dancing for Fitness & Fun. They will be holding classes again in June at my bar:

  19. Pingback: Topamax when will it help my binging.