Monthly Archives: April 2007
If that event which shall now be known as The Reassignation of the Chief of Making Shit Up to the Old Geezers Office wasn’t enough for the email box, this surely put it over the top:
The new Steelers mascot.
I see. You take the scariest puppet you can find, give it The Chin’s chin, slap some of Ken Rice’s eyebrow hair on it, and BAM! Ugliest. Scariest. Grossest. Kids are going to vomit. Mascot. Ever!
There’s a contest to “NAME THE MASCOT”.
I think I’m going to mass produce about 1,000 entries suggesting we name this badass “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!!!”
If this thing even comes near me at a Steelers game, I’ll kick it in the nuts. Swear to God.
Thanks to all of you who emailed me.
I’m sure by now you’ve heard, actually I KNOW you’ve heard because a whole bunch of you emailed me to tell me you OMG heard!!!
The Chief of Making Shit Up is now going to be the Chief of The Old Geezers Office.
“This is something I felt was necessary to do in my administration moving
forward,” said Ravenstahl. “Certainly, when you work in the mayor’s office, it
is the highest level of city government, so if you go from there to somewhere
else, it can be perceived as a demotion. I just felt it was appropriate in
moving forward that these positions were brought up, examined and a change was needed.”
First of all, TWO DRINKS, YAY!! Early start to the weekend.
Second of all:
Mr. Skrinjar said his role will be overseeing senior activities and programming. “It’s a new challenge. It’s a new era,” he said. “The seniors are the foundation of what America’s Most Livable City is built on.”
Sounds like a activities director on a cruise, doesn’t it. I love this style of assignment of duties. You are an old person, so you are now in charge of the Old People Stuff.
Which is great because if I worked for the City, I would be in charge of the Hot People Office.
Can’t wait to see who the new Chief of Making Shit Up will be.
1. Drink! This marks the first time I can link to a video of Lukey saying “move forward.” Awesome. (h/t M. Silenus)
2. Did you lose your dog … that died .. and you wrapped in plastic … and put in your ceiling … about a hundred years ago? It’s been found near Observatory Hill. Yay for you! (h/t Kayla)
3. Lukey is running in the Great Race. I cannot WAIT for photos of him trying to run with his hands either on his hips or in his pockets, because, come on, have you ever seen him on his feet in any other pose? Maybe they can just hand him a microphone and he can talk the whole time he’s running. (h/t Lauren)
“A dislike of any bird is an evolutionary survival instinct that has been passed down through our DNA. Back in cavemen times birds were bigger and posed a real danger.”
Please. In an article that contains the lines:
They are known to be susceptible to some diseases like tuberculosis
they can breed up to up to six times a year
… are you really trying to tell a chick that has been pooped on, pecked at, stared down, and dive bombed by screeching pigeons that she’s afraid of them because of the DNA passed down by her cave-dwelling ancestors?
Maybe it’s not just a fluke.
PittGirl Ball o’ Magic now says:
Gov. Ed Rendell acknowledged that his state-police chauffeured car sometimes exceeds the speed limit, even though the administration instituted a policy three years ago ordering his drivers to abide by it except in emergencies.
“Sometimes we adhere to the speed limit, sometimes we don’t,” Mr. Rendell said yesterday. “On many of Pennsylvania’s highways, if you adhered to the speed limit, you’d be a safety hazard.”
You guys! Do you realize that we have just been given permission by the Governor of the Commonwealth to speed if we feel we’re a safety hazard?
“I’ve told my troopers that I don’t want them exceeding 80 unless they need to pass or unless there’s some real exigent circumstance,” Mr. Rendell said.
“Exigent circumstances” in this case is probably when Mr. Rendell is trying to get to a very important meeting with some hot sandwiches. You know those cheesesteaks do NOT like to be kept waiting.
So when you’re pulled over and you are asked to hand over your license, registration, and proof of insurance … YOU will hand over your license, registration, proof of insurance, AND a laminated copy of this article.