My email box exploded.

If that event which shall now be known as The Reassignation of the Chief of Making Shit Up to the Old Geezers Office wasn’t enough for the email box, this surely put it over the top:

The new Steelers mascot.

I see. You take the scariest puppet you can find, give it The Chin’s chin, slap some of Ken Rice’s eyebrow hair on it, and BAM! Ugliest. Scariest. Grossest. Kids are going to vomit. Mascot. Ever!

WTF???

There’s a contest to “NAME THE MASCOT”.

I think I’m going to mass produce about 1,000 entries suggesting we name this badass “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!!!”

If this thing even comes near me at a Steelers game, I’ll kick it in the nuts. Swear to God.

Thanks to all of you who emailed me.





44 Comments

  1. Bram R
    April 27, 2007 2:56 pm

    I’m pretty sure that’s the new Chief of Making Shit Up.



  2. DW
    April 27, 2007 2:58 pm

    It’ll scare the kids…let’s call him Stevie Steel.



  3. Woy
    April 27, 2007 3:01 pm

    I wonder if he’ll whistle and make catcalls to all the mulleted women that sit in the stands.



  4. mer-man
    April 27, 2007 3:03 pm

    My suggestion: Dui McDrunk



  5. Dano
    April 27, 2007 3:05 pm

    Oh sweet mother of Jane…next thing you know we’ll have cheerleaders…or better yet…a dance team….kick him in the nuts indeed! Rock on most liveable city…rock on



  6. BC
    April 27, 2007 3:08 pm

    Why is he a jaundiced yellow? Why the plaid shirt??? Why the 5:00 shadow!?? Just why?? Yes, a kick to the testicles would be deserved.



  7. BC
    April 27, 2007 3:11 pm

    Why not a revival of Joe Magarac?



  8. mer-man
    April 27, 2007 3:14 pm

    His yellow skin is obviously from I-ron induced liver failure.

    Did Ravenstahl fire Huddle too?



  9. GeeO
    April 27, 2007 3:24 pm

    How will all the drunks at the Steeler games even be able to see this through their drunken stupors?



  10. Sofa King
    April 27, 2007 3:29 pm

    The only way I’ll support this mascot is if they do it the right way- he should make his entrance in an ’84 Camaro with T-Tops, blasting Molly Hatchet and chain-smoking Marlboro Reds.

    Honestly, though, it does sort of look like he wants to eat your soul.



  11. pittgirl
    April 27, 2007 3:30 pm

    Hah, hah, and HAH! You guys are killing me.



  12. spoon
    April 27, 2007 3:42 pm

    he’ll be Steve. Steve the Steeler. Name is already picked. The Steelers are just toying with Yinzer Nation to make them think the Steelers give a shit about their opinion.

    besides, that mascot needs some Buddy Holly glasses and a beer gut.



  13. wshicldtel
    April 27, 2007 3:44 pm

    Is anyone else having a problem with the uniform and helmet that Hines is wearing (see pics on Steeler website 75th Anniversary Press Conference). I am not sure which one is worse, the mascot or the new uniform.



  14. NY Luvs Pitts
    April 27, 2007 3:46 pm

    PG, Girl you are tooooooooooo funny.



  15. harvey burghman
    April 27, 2007 3:50 pm

    the real question, how exactly did they convince matt groening to design a mascot? he must love dem stillers too. this is only the latest in a series of mascot disasters in this town: iceburgh, the new bucco ‘a$$ pirate’ the parrot getting caught naked in a public pool, etc etc.

    mascots must not have been included in the ‘most livable’ criteria…



  16. ishmael
    April 27, 2007 3:58 pm

    Stush, we should call him Stush. Maybe South Side Stush. No, that’s too much. Just Stush.



  17. mer-man
    April 27, 2007 3:58 pm

    The photos of the mascot actually look like a mugshot!

    http://news.steelers.com/article/75934/

    How appropriate!



  18. Scott
    April 27, 2007 4:23 pm

    Seriously, WTF?

    This is the best they could do?

    This could be worse than the Steelerettes…

    Scott



  19. Bram R
    April 27, 2007 4:23 pm

    Seriously, the longer I look, the more I see Ken Rice.



  20. Aeran
    April 27, 2007 4:38 pm

    holy living hell.
    he’s jaundiced, unshaven, and overall-wearing —
    We officially can’t say we’re better than the Browns anymore.

    how about we name him ‘you’re blocking my view of Polamalu in spandex’?



  21. mer-man
    April 27, 2007 6:20 pm

    He looks like a the mascot for a communist-bloc country.

    “Pittsburgh is the 2nd greatest
    Source for Potassium;
    All the other midwest cities
    produce less coal tonage per capita”



  22. K
    April 27, 2007 6:41 pm

    I like it.



  23. Still A. Fan
    April 27, 2007 8:16 pm

    hold on, hold on, hold on…..

    i’m not sure this is really a new mascot, per se. they used to have a steel worker walking on steel way before the current logo. yeah, this is the mascot they never had, but the charcater may be from that logo…

    http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sportslogos.net/images/teams/primaries/yg3ajf7lt77h2agajh81.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.sportslogos.net/team.php%3Ft%3D156&h=100&w=150&sz=4&hl=en&start=2&tbnid=NL7Be6xLR34d8M:&tbnh=64&tbnw=96&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsteel%2Bworker%2Blogo%2Bsteelers%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den



  24. Meg
    April 27, 2007 9:45 pm

    Yeah, the people on kdka saw the resemblance too and Kenny says that he wants his brows back… stupidly hilarious



  25. bucdaddy
    April 27, 2007 10:05 pm

    I was going to say Steely Dan (what? that’s taken?), but I think now I like Stush Steeler better.



  26. gunn lino
    April 27, 2007 10:28 pm

    This is all a bad dream, right ?



  27. Pinto Alegre
    April 27, 2007 11:28 pm

    I’m don’t want to go to sleep tonight because I’m afraid that this God forsaken mascot will be standing over me when I wake up in the morning.

    The reason that the Steelers are one of the most respected teams in the NFL is because we don’t have stupid mascots, cheerleaders, etc. It’s pure Steelers football and it doesn’t need any of this stupid shit.

    Please tell me that the Steelers will reconsider and get rid of this mascot. Egads!



  28. bucdaddy
    April 28, 2007 12:11 am

    Wait … I got it: Joe Mullet. No? OK, how about: Yinzer. Not that one either? Then try: Lou Cravenstahl.



  29. whooozon1st
    April 28, 2007 5:08 am

    The Chin, The (Ken Rice) Brows,The Heart of Myron Cope…
    Keep the name simple…as straight-forward as the Rich Union Pride that runs deep in the hollows of our great city, Pittsburgh——– Joe Stiller——— Enough said ynzrs



  30. Rusty
    April 28, 2007 8:38 pm

    I smell lot’s of sovuenir sales – at very high prices.

    Oh, gotta work on the spelling.



  31. Kimberly
    April 28, 2007 9:43 pm

    Oh my…..make that “MR. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!!!!” and I’ll see your thousand entries, then raise you five thousand more. This is awful. I’m all the way out in San Diego and I hate it!!!! First the Pirates add that ridiculous red to their uniform and now the Steelers take on this absolutely hideous mascot??!!! I’m afraid to ask what’s next.

    PS – I found your blog while searching for all things Troy. I’m a native, but left at the wee age of five. Die hard Steeler and Pirate fan, though.

    Cheers,

    Kimberly



  32. Evorgleb
    April 29, 2007 4:22 pm

    Yeh we’ve been talking about the new Steelers mascot over at Highbrid Nation. Our readers don’t seem to care for him but I’m sitting on the fence. Its just hard for me to picture the guy lasting to long. My vote for his name though? Terrible Terry :)



  33. honda driver
    April 29, 2007 6:49 pm

    no. no. no. a thousand times NO! i leave town for a weekend and come back to see this! are they freakin’ kidding! what is this town coming to? i think i’m going to throw up.



  34. Sofa King
    April 30, 2007 8:39 am

    Terrible Terry…not bad.

    I agree with Pinto’s post 110%…we don’t need mascots and such because Steelers football is just that…Steelers football. The game is the attraction and we don’t need any peripheral garbage to detract from it.

    Cripes, try going to a Redskins or Ravens game. Those schmucks have mascots, cheerleaders, and even friggin’ marching bands because the football is so lame they need something else to entertain the fans. Hell, the Redskins even have these 4 old schmucks in the marching band that breakdance in the end zone in the 4th quarter. It’s like college football on meth minus the heart and soul.



  35. Jackie
    April 30, 2007 10:01 am

    I say the name is Yinzer…Ive already sent it in so dont even think about it!



  36. DW
    April 30, 2007 11:06 am

    Bushy Billy ‘Burgh



  37. Zsa
    April 30, 2007 1:16 pm

    wshicldtel – they’re only going to wear the new-old uniforms at two games, thank God. I agree that it’s super fug.

    The Steeler mascot should be named “go away gross man who tried to hit on me at Matrix last week by showing me pictures of his 18 year old daughter.”



  38. cate
    April 30, 2007 2:41 pm

    they have forgotten the holiest of pittsburgh tough man characteristics: where is the STACHE? that guy needs a moustache pronto.



  39. jason
    April 30, 2007 2:53 pm

    How about Magarac the Maniac?



  40. parking chair
    April 30, 2007 5:51 pm

    I say we call him “John Dis.” He can walk around with his yellowy hue and hurl – insults, that is – at opposing fans.



  41. TRUTH TELLER
    May 1, 2007 11:59 am

    YIKES!!! How ’bout Hardhat Hank?



  42. Butler Anthony
    May 1, 2007 2:22 pm

    I refer you to the Doozers.[http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Doozers]

    If the Steelers must have a mascot, is it too late to adopt Crosscut [http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/0/01/Crosscutdoozer.jpg], or Cotterpin [http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/5/5a/Cotterpindoozer.jpg]? A couple of proud yinzers.

    PittGirl can attend games as Red Fraggle. [http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/thumb/5/5a/Red.jpg/300px-Red.jpg]



  43. Steeler Tom
    May 2, 2007 8:06 pm

    I vote for Steeler Steve

    Lay off the eyebrows

    Real Stillers don’t “manscape”

    No Metrosexual here!



  44. Scott
    May 3, 2007 11:40 pm

    I kind of liked the Steelerettes. I say we just ignore this ugly stupidity.