Is that Sally Wiggin? Or Whitney Houston?

There is a MUST READ article at ESPN.com about that dude, Brian Jackson that kept posing as Steelers players and somehow (I have no idea how) got women to believe him.

Kristin* didn’t have much to go on but the pictures. The Jerame Tuman she knew had a rounded stomach that fell below his waist, and arms and legs that weren’t trim. But he was tall, so she slowly convinced herself that if he said he was an NFL tight end, then this is what an NFL tight end must look like. He had shown her a cell phone full of numbers, after all — Jerome Bettis, Hines Ward, Ike Taylor — and bragged about “his boys.”

The story has some amazing details about what Brian did to keep his charade alive. Some amazing sad sad sad details. This was a caper of epic proportions.

Also amazingly, ESPN managed to get a statement from Brian in which he says:

It all started because people told me I looked like Big Ben when I turned my hat around. I was big and white, like him. When I went to restaurants, I’d get out of my truck and people said I looked like an athlete.

An ATHLETE? At what? Fishing? NASCAR? Darts? If people are going up to this guy saying he looks like an athlete then surely … SURELY people go up to Sally Wiggin all the time and tell her how much she looks just like Whitney Houston. Or go up to me all the time and tell me how much I look like the hottest woman on the planet. Oh wait. That part is true.

So he blames “people” first.

But the women chose me. I’d be out in a crowd, and women would flirt with me, and I played along. They were convinced I was a Steeler, even though they had no clue who the Steeler was they thought they were talking to.

Has he looked at himself … ever? Does he really expect us to believe that women are walking up to him and saying, “Hi, Ben!” and he’s just going along with it? Right.

So he blames the women, second. Then he says:

Thing is, I’m not really a big Steelers fan.

Which is funny because the article states of him:

Those familiar with the case say he had an encyclopedic, nearly obsessive knowledge of the men he said he was: he knew where they were born, where they went to school, what they drove, the names of parents and wives and children and pets. And he could recall a player’s TV highlights as if living inside the moments of another man’s life.

Finally, Brian says:

If I had a favorite team, the Cowboys would be it.

Gasp! The nerve. Anybody know where he lives so I can go throw some trash on his lawn?

(h/t to reader Kevin)





13 Comments

  1. PittCheMBA
    May 7, 2007 6:51 pm

    I can’t wait for this dude to impersonate the new unnamed Steelers mascot.



  2. mer-man
    May 7, 2007 7:32 pm

    I don’t know, I’m pretty sure that Big Ben tucks his shirt into his paints without wearing a belt.

    And you left out bowling. He has the classic PBA look:
    http://www.pba.com/players/playerbios03.asp



  3. B
    May 7, 2007 8:33 pm

    Oh man. If I were Ben, I’d be pissed that this guy impersonated me. I would go for a makeover IMMEDIATELY.



  4. Stll A. Fan
    May 7, 2007 8:51 pm

    i am inspired to confess MY true identity after reading the article……..steelcityslant is written by willie colon. i’m a little younger and lighter in the site photo.



  5. IslandGirl
    May 8, 2007 2:06 am

    Why would anyone pretend to be Big Ben? Wouldn’t you want to pretend to be someone a bit better looking….and intelligent enough to have a license and wear a helmet when riding a motorcycle?



  6. Jody
    May 8, 2007 8:55 am

    Can we deport this guy to Dallas, since he’s such a big Cowboys fan and all. If he died he’s hair chicken fat yellow, he’s a dead ringer for Bill Parcells.



  7. spoon
    May 8, 2007 9:55 am

    People mistake me for Dee Thompson all the time. I can’t see it though since I don’t usually wear a hat.



  8. TRUTH TELLER
    May 8, 2007 11:57 am

    Just because someone is a football player, does not mean that they are built pleasingly. There are PLENTY of fat, sloppy looking men playing in the NFL. That’s not to be taken as an insult, but you have to be REALLY LARGE to play in some of the positions. Also, apparently these women who were fooled forgot to wear their regular glasses and donned the beer goggles instead – EWWWW!



  9. BURGH
    May 8, 2007 1:35 pm

    The guy is obviously in need of meds, but I can’t feel sorry for these women either.

    They were interested in him because they THOUGHT he was a Pittsburgh Steeler, so what were their intentions for being with him?

    I still can’t get over how they could be duped. With his looks saying he is a professional quarterback or Tight End, the only voice I can picture him in is Jon Lovitz.

    “I play for the Steelers…in fact….I’m the quarterback….yeah..that’s the ticket”

    The broads got what they deserved.



  10. Erin
    May 8, 2007 2:04 pm

    Indeed, have you ever gotten a good look at Casey Hampton? If I saw him in street clothes the last profession I would guess is “athlete”. That being said, those girls make Erin queasy. Gross.



  11. Sofa King
    May 9, 2007 8:50 am

    Women, I love ya, but this story and the Joe Hardy wedding story just illustrate how many women are still willing to whore themselves out to be with a man of perceived wealth or status. It’s a sad situation, as these women undermine all of the advances in gender equality made in recent years. By allowing themselves to be treated like objects, they contribute to a continual downward cycle of objectification of women and are thus contributorily negligent with respect to the sexism that many perceive to be widespread throught our nation. Perhaps if more young men were willing to throw themselves at Condoleeza Ride or Bea Arthur, then the playing field might be leveled a bit.

    That being said, I’ll be coming home this weekend, so the horny, 26-year-old male part of my brain would like to ask all of the beautiful young women of Pittsburgh to wait until Monday to start the new Women’s Lib movement. ;-)



  12. TRUTH TELLER
    May 9, 2007 1:27 pm

    LOL, nice Sofa King!!!



  13. Joe Hardy
    May 18, 2007 9:51 am

    Broads are stupid. i fuck em over all the time.