1. That’s really great that you love the ladies. Know what the ladies love? Photos of your friends flipping the camera off, photos of your naked back, and photos of you in bed with other men. (safe for work. Swear it.)
2. Wow. When I think “ray of sunshine” I think of this Burgher right here.
3. Somebody just popped a Viagra, no?
4. Incredibly, the leather pants-wearing slave in search of a master STILL hasn’t found a master. Smart bastard posted a picture of himself in action. I bet his email box is exploding now! And is she wearing socks with those shoes?
5. Sex in exchange for him beating the shit out of someone for you? I don’t even know what to say to that.
6. So he’s saying he’s kind of looking for a fat 60-year-old? Nice.
7. False advertising. That’s all I’m saying. It’s false advertising. Please don’t email me and tell me what a bitch I am. Just do it in the comments.