Are you ALSO kidding me?!!?

A globe-trotting Atlanta lawyer with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was allowed back into the United States by a border inspector who disregarded a computer warning to stop him and don protective gear, officials said yesterday.

The unidentified inspector explained that he was no doctor, but that the infected man seemed perfectly healthy, and that he thought the warning was merely “discretionary.”

The inspector ran Mr. Speaker’s passport through a computer, and, according to officials, up popped a warning — including instructions to hold the traveler, to don a protective mask in dealing with him and to telephone health authorities.

Are you ALSO kidding me?

So by discretionary, this inspector means that a warning popped up basically saying, “Hey, you, this here man whose passport you just ran has got the consumption, a disease that while he may look healthy, is actually currently attacking his organs and is so dangerous that you sir should put on a surgical mask and call the CDC so that he doesn’t spread a disease that causes a bloody cough, fever, pallor, and ‘long relentless wasting’ — yes, long. relentless. wasting. But, you know, whatever, this warning is just discretionary, and at your discretion, you may let this ticking time bomb on the plane.”

These are the people protecting our borders? Well, thank God.

Also, it wasn’t too long ago that I specifically wrote that I DO NOT NEED TUBERCULOSIS and if by some sick sick twist of irony I come down with tuberculosis and die, I hope you all will find this border agent and kick him in the groin for me, and ladies, if you wear those super pointy witchy shoes when you do it, well, PittGirl will smile down from heaven at that.

I assume revenge is condoned in heaven?  Because I totally plan to spend eternity letting the pigeons on Earth have it.


  1. Puma
    June 1, 2007 3:58 pm

    This is unbelievable, nobody stopped this guy? I actually happened to be flying out of Atlanta just a day after this happened, so I’ve followed this story a bit.

    By the way, as another sign of the Atlanta airport’s high attention to security, I had my suitcase broken into while passing through baggage check there, and lost a cell phone, CDs and my CD player (Who steals a CD player these days? That’s like taking my 8-track player and my Jethro Tull collection.)

    But fortunately, I don’t have TB. “Hey, Aqualung…”

  2. Still A. Fan
    June 1, 2007 8:25 pm

    also out of recent border news….a tall man in his late 40’s, early 50’s looking to be of mideast origin hobbled across the canadian border looking frail last week wheeling what appeared to be a dialysis machine on a golf pull cart. he was surrounded by his posse – e, drama and turtle. he was stopped, finger printed, cheek swabbed, anal cavity searched and released. after disappearing from site, it finally hit the border agent that he should have asked Borat for his autograph.

  3. Emily
    June 4, 2007 7:14 am

    This looks great!

  4. Kelli
    June 4, 2007 11:55 am

    I may be way too much of a conspiracy theorist, but did anyone else hear that this guy’s new father-in-law is actually the scientist who isolated this rare strain of TB?

    That just seems like way to big of a coincidence to me. There has got to be more to this story that we just aren’t hearing.

    (And thank god my father is a farmer and not a scientist. While he could do some mean stuff to my currently non-existent future husband – cow poop in his yard, maybe? – he can’t intentionally give him TB. And Mad Farmer just doesn’t sound as scary as Mad Scientist.)

    June 4, 2007 1:53 pm

    Border agents = passage of illegal immigrants who secure trailer hitches with duct tape, need I say more???