A globe-trotting Atlanta lawyer with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was allowed back into the United States by a border inspector who disregarded a computer warning to stop him and don protective gear, officials said yesterday.
The unidentified inspector explained that he was no doctor, but that the infected man seemed perfectly healthy, and that he thought the warning was merely “discretionary.”
The inspector ran Mr. Speaker’s passport through a computer, and, according to officials, up popped a warning — including instructions to hold the traveler, to don a protective mask in dealing with him and to telephone health authorities.
Are you ALSO kidding me?
So by discretionary, this inspector means that a warning popped up basically saying, “Hey, you, this here man whose passport you just ran has got the consumption, a disease that while he may look healthy, is actually currently attacking his organs and is so dangerous that you sir should put on a surgical mask and call the CDC so that he doesn’t spread a disease that causes a bloody cough, fever, pallor, and ‘long relentless wasting’ — yes, long. relentless. wasting. But, you know, whatever, this warning is just discretionary, and at your discretion, you may let this ticking time bomb on the plane.”
These are the people protecting our borders? Well, thank God.
Also, it wasn’t too long ago that I specifically wrote that I DO NOT NEED TUBERCULOSIS and if by some sick sick twist of irony I come down with tuberculosis and die, I hope you all will find this border agent and kick him in the groin for me, and ladies, if you wear those super pointy witchy shoes when you do it, well, PittGirl will smile down from heaven at that.
I assume revenge is condoned in heaven? Because I totally plan to spend eternity letting the pigeons on Earth have it.