Heinz 57? No, thank you.

And you wonder why I choose to remain anonymous.

Because I don’t need this guy abducting me, locking me in his basement, and regularly slathering me with Heinz 57 sauce.

I much prefer A1.


  1. Chrys
    June 4, 2007 8:14 am


  2. Woy
    June 4, 2007 8:20 am

    Is that supposed to be a roll of steel? Or is it duct tape. You know, for abduction purposes.

  3. Puma
    June 4, 2007 8:31 am

    I think it’s a nut. I shudder to think what this guy would do with a bottle of Heinz 57 sauce and his nuts.

  4. Darwin Police
    June 4, 2007 9:03 am

    “It puts the Heinz 57 on its skin” doesn’t quite have the right ring to it.

  5. DW
    June 4, 2007 9:39 am

    “it puts the ’57 back in the bucket…”

  6. bubbie
    June 4, 2007 9:53 am

    Wow, that sounds hot. I think it’s hot enough to be a music video. Wait a second, it might be a music video.

    Is that catchy or what?

  7. Steve
    June 4, 2007 9:55 am

    Is that a disk from the inside of a hard drive…?

  8. bucdaddy
    June 4, 2007 10:16 am

    Only ketchup for you, my little French fry.

  9. NY Luvs Pitts
    June 4, 2007 10:24 am

    Steel nuts and Heinz 57 sauce??? Kinky!!!!!

  10. Havenfilms
    June 4, 2007 11:10 am

    I would seriously consider getting a “smokin’-hot-body” guard…or at the very least a combination of pepper spray-pigeon repellent.

  11. McFloppy
    June 4, 2007 11:43 am

    Betcha it’s John McIntyre.

  12. Dano
    June 4, 2007 3:04 pm

    Im with McFloppy…I bet its the old MacYapper himself…Monkeyboy McIntyre

  13. merman
    June 4, 2007 5:57 pm

    that is the first and last time a bottle of 57 will be used as a phallic symbol.

  14. dwight
    June 5, 2007 12:23 pm

    merman, tell that to the Heinz ketchup bottle fetishists who I know must exist out there. I’m thinking they probably overlap a lot with Furries.

  15. ergo
    June 5, 2007 6:40 pm

    Ok, ok, I get the picture.

    Give me a few weeks to renegotiate with my bulk steak sauce supplier, and I’ll get back to you. Though now I have to figure out what I’m going to do with this tanker truck full of Heinz 57. The neighbors are starting to complain about the smell, and I think it’s leaking into the ground water. That would explain why my neighbor was complaining about her bath water being “a little tacky, but delicious.”

    And I PROMISE I’ll use a soft-bristle brush.