“Mmmm. Pumpkins.”

I may be branded a shallow bitch for saying this … but there are certain types of folks who should never pose nude.

1.  People with body mass indexes higher than their cholesterol.

2.  Old people.

3.  Old people with body mass indexes higher than their cholesterol.

Yes, old lady Burghers, posing semi-nude behind props.

“Miss April,” for instance, photographed in a pasture wearing nothing but a smile and a giant pink umbrella, is 75-year-old Esther Cox, who ran Cox’s IGA Market on Route 481 for 40 years. Former snack bar and club owner Bebe Barantovich, 85, a lifelong performer who claims to have sung “God Bless America” more times than Kate Smith, is the bare-shouldered “Miss June” peeking through the frame of Faye Irey’s grand piano. As “Miss December,” longtime teacher Sondra Odelli Bordini strikes a provocative pose behind a poinsettia centerpiece, studded with two large red Christmas balls that are positioned exactly where her … well, you get the picture.

PittGirl’s thoughts:

1.  I can’t decide whether to applaud these fearless ladies or to snark about it.  I choose snark.

2.  Do you think some nasty pervert with an old lady fetish is going to buy these things in bulk?   This is a Special Victims Unit episode just waiting to happen.

3.  At what point in time did a person trying to think of a fundraiser pipe up with “NAKED OLD PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!” and everyone in the room started applauding that awesome idea?

4.   Do you think all the male retirees in the homes will have these hanging up in their rooms and be all, “Man, look at the pumpkins on Miss November.   If I ever met her, I’d just …”  EW!

5.  There are two photos posted so you can get a sneak peek at the hot skin action.  Those of you that click on “Click photo for larger image” … WHY?

6.  Since I KNOW some of you are actually going to purchase this calendar … the PG has the website wrong.  They will be for sale for ten dollars (that works out to $.83 per lady) here.

P.S.  That photo up there is not from this particular calendar.  But from ANOTHER old naked lady calendar.  I’d tell you where, but I’m not here to feed your fetish … sicko.


  1. Mia
    June 11, 2007 11:34 am

    Ack!! Please quickly post something else! Naked Grannies in a hot tub is NOT what i want to see while eating my lunch!!

  2. honda driver
    June 11, 2007 11:59 am

    seems like a redo of the british movie ‘calendar girls’

  3. Sofa King
    June 11, 2007 12:14 pm

    Grandma? GRANDMA?!?!?!!!!

    Thanks, PG…I’ve simultaneously lost my appetite and my sex drive. Oh well, at least they weren’t wearing big hats.

    To all the Hardy-haters….can you really blame him now?

  4. Sofa King
    June 11, 2007 12:19 pm

    On the bright side, at least I’ve found a new filming location for the next installment of my “Golden Girls Gone Wild” video series.

  5. linda
    June 11, 2007 12:41 pm

    Once a hussy, always a hussy.

    June 11, 2007 1:14 pm

    Let’s remember, this is set in the Mon Valley. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of visiting, there are basically two types of people that reside there: substance abusers and old folks. I choose old folks, thanks.

  7. Sofa King
    June 11, 2007 1:23 pm

    As a product of the glorious and glamorous Mid Mon Valley, I must resent that remark.

    That being said, I’d rather be beaten senseless and dragged naked through a cornfield before I ever moved back there again.

  8. OldNekkidWimmen
    June 11, 2007 5:00 pm

    I think it’s great. This region is too uptight, exemplified in the demise of some cool places like the Blue Ruin Gallery that featured erotic art. Maybe we need some of our more mature neighbors to loosen things up.

    So to speak.

    Now I ain’t makin’ no jokes about a wizard’s sleeve or nuthin.

  9. K
    June 11, 2007 7:49 pm

    Yeah… a teacher? So what happened to the Florida teacher who posed semi-nude? She got fired. Is there such a thing as reverse ageism? Or does it just make it harmless because she’s old? Either way there is some sort of double-standard.

  10. Still A. Fan
    June 11, 2007 9:22 pm

    old people smell like dog food….

    naked old people smell like…….wet dog food

  11. Mi
    June 12, 2007 1:19 am

    The rude comments about old people are just that rude. Where’s the respect…old or young…what difference does it make…rudeness hurts all ages. I know some young people who wouldn’t look so great naked but my God….people lighten up. Let them do their own thing and you mine your own business. What would you look like naked? Are of you all beauty queens and hunks with perfect bodies… Forget the old bodies, the old skin…inside is a heart that hurts just like yours.

    What’s the age group of this self-righteous perfect glick? How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?

  12. Sofa King
    June 12, 2007 7:41 am

    So, what do wet naked old people smell like?

  13. Sofa King
    June 12, 2007 9:37 am

    Hey, Mi, what’s your address? I’m going to send you a can of Raid so you can kill that bug up your ass.

    Per the article:
    “a tongue-in-cheek twist on all those “fire hunks” and other beefcake calendars some communities do to raise money? ”

    You need to lighten up…the whole calendar was done as a joke, not to be “sexy.” I’m sure they were well aware of the potential jabs and criticisms they were opening up to when they did the calendar, yet they still did it, apparently because they have a sense of humor…something you need to work on.

  14. Ms. Caroline
    June 12, 2007 10:26 am

    Who’d like to see the naked ol’ men of the Mon Valley calendar raise your hand!!

    June 12, 2007 10:56 am

    Oh my stars, THAT could be scary! Hope they have appropriate props and camera lenses b/c old men “hang low” if you know what I mean..

    Mi, I agree with SK, lighten up or consider visiting a more “PC” blog. This place is very liberal and FREAKIN’ AWESOME!!!

  16. Pinto Alegre
    June 12, 2007 3:23 pm

    Wow..some of those old ladies in the picture have seriously big boobies. Hubba hubba!

  17. soupnazi
    June 15, 2007 9:26 am

    1. The article is extremely misleading – the women in question arent semi-nude or even partially nude.

    2. The calendar is being used as a fundraising tool for the Monongahela Area Historical Society.

    3. This isnt some vehicle being used to appease some senior women’s porn fantasies. Its a fun way to raise money and not take yourself too seriusly.

    4. Who wants to look at it? You mean in a sexual way? Probably no one….Its not being distributed for that reason so everyone acting like that is over the line.