1. There is a God and he loves me.
2. Tiger Woods is in town. That person you see trailing him every single place he goes is NOT his caddy. It’s Lukey.
3. Two dumbasses tried to scale Mt. Washington and got stuck and had to be rescued, only after waiting like five hours for help. And then there were the dumbasses who drove right onto the closed Parkway East this weekend, swerved around some cones, dodged some big gaps in the roadway, jumped a gap, and finally crashed. What the hell is with the sudden spike in general dumbassery in the Burgh?
4. From Lukey’s June Neighborhood Message …
To move Pittsburgh forward, we must make public safety a priority; we must all take ownership of the safety of our streets.
Finally! And ………………DRINK!
You have given me the mandate to move forward with my initiatives for a brighter future for Pittsburgh.
Two drinks! Lukey has not forgotten about us after all.