I’ve been following the story of the Pittsburgh Zoo’s bull elephant Jackson for quite some time now, mostly because it amuses me to no end that any elephant that has ever stood next to Jackson seems to get pregnant by him. Seriously, this pachyderm can apparently just make eye contact with a female and get her pregnant.
This is why I never look Jackson directly in the eyes when I go to the zoo because I do NOT need to be pregnant for two freakin’ years (yeah, I don’t want to know what that dude is doing in the second picture because I bet it has something to do with the words “elephant orifice”).
Jackson currently has two kids … Victoria and Callee … here in the Burgh. Add to that three other elephants he’s fathered around the country. Then add to THAT the two lady elephants at our zoo who are currently pregnant with his children. Then add to THAT the recent revelation that he also fathered a baby elephant in Louisville.
Add that all up and you’ve got one badass, super-spermed elephant with a hell of a child support problem.
Jackson has fathered more calves than any other elephant at the more than 200 zoos accredited by the association, said Tracy Gray, a Pittsburgh Zoo spokeswoman.
I think we certainly have something to be proud of and I know it is only a matter of time before we see billboards all over the city proclaiming, “Welcome to Luke Ravenstahl’s Pittsburgh … home of Jackson and the Super Sperm!” with fine print of “Warning … Luke Ravenstahl’s Pittsburgh is not liable for any accidental impregnation that may result due to intentional eye contact with Jackson. Glance at your own risk.”