Random n@.

1. Sorry not much posting today. It is really hard to snark on random news of the Burgh when shit like this happens. It leaves you feeling confused, mad, sad and not much like writing about the reproductive prowess of the resident pachyderm. The only people that should die while screaming in terror are murderers, rapists, and maybe pigeons. Not little kids. Grr.

2. Jeff Reed is dangerously close, dangerously. close. to snatching the asshat label from Santonio. I don’t know where to even begin. His ridiculous hair that even Don King would look at and be all, “DUDE! WTF?” That his shirt eventually was taken off to reveal a body that for some strange reason is giving me heebie jeebies and the “ew!”s. God.

Put your shirt back on and sober the hell up. You’re a Steeler for cryin’ out loud. We’ve already got a drunken fool capable of drinking like a champion and we sure don’t need another one. I’m not saying you can’t go out and have a drink and flirt with the girls, but maybe use a TEENY less hair product and KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON (nsfw), DAMN IT!

And what is so hard about getting through life without your naked photo regularly appearing on the Internet. I’ve gone 33 years and it has only happened once. Take a lesson.

(h/t fisticuffs … that’s his name. Fisticuffs.)

3. A book about Jesus coming to Pittsburgh and getting stopped by homeland security? Even without reading it I bet the very next thing I should say is, “and hilarity ensues.” I have a million funny things I want to say about this but I don’t like to piss Jesus off because: what if He takes it out on the Steelers?! Check it out. (h/t Janet)

4. You know how Giant Eagle said that those self-checkout lines would not replace the jobs of humans? On Sunday evening, about 8:00 p.m., my Giant Eagle which is a big giant Giant Eagle had one human running the express lane, six self-check out lanes open, and … that’s it. So if you had a buggy full of groceries, you had to check yourself out. That irked me to not end and just to get back at them, I kicked their Mexican in the huevos.

5. Once again, a bunch of people sitting in a room brainstorming ideas to celebrate the city’s 250th birthday … went with the monkey’s idea. Is there a Guiness Record for the most people rolling their eyes at the same time?





18 Comments

  1. Rich
    June 12, 2007 10:30 pm

    You rock. Not a clue who you are in real life, PittGirl, or what you do (Oh, yes, I have my theories…), but your blog has become a must-read for me — and I don’t even live anywhere near Pittsburgh anymore.



  2. Still A. Fan
    June 12, 2007 10:39 pm

    what the heck with jeff reed? as long as quadzilla doesnt turn into vanderkazuintiche. he needs to get married and grow up. is he married? can’t be. not with that hair. can you imagine him having that hair if greg lloyd was still on the team? kickers are supposed to be quiet and nonsocial. i guess someone forgot to tell “heat miser” that.



  3. honda driver
    June 12, 2007 10:50 pm

    jeff reed’s latest hairdo reminds me of the little freaky trolls i had growing up. they too did not have shirts on and had big bellies and man-boobs. then my german shepherd dog ate them.



  4. honda driver
    June 12, 2007 10:52 pm

    btw – since it is the anniversary of big ben’s accident. today’s carbolic smoke blog is a must read. funny as hell. http://carbolicsmokeblog.blogspot.com/2007/06/traffic-alert-second-avenue-at.html



  5. steeler tom
    June 13, 2007 12:11 am

    Eh, I like the troll comparison, but is it me or does he not look like some weird version of Andrew Dice Clay? Not only was he weird but a sicko bastid too.
    Maybe they were seperated at Birth???



  6. Sylar
    June 13, 2007 9:00 am

    Ewwww! Without question, Jeff Reed defines Steeler fug & gross far more than Benny ever could. Jeffy’s troll hair! His man-boobs! The face that makes him look like the love child of Andrew Dice Clay and Pauly Shore! He actually gives me nightmares.

    All I gotta say is, thank God for Dan Sepulveda.



  7. DW
    June 13, 2007 9:07 am

    Just keep making field goals and maybe,MAYBE I’ll forget all this. Oh, sticking your finger in a light socket to get that perfect hairdo isn’t cool, dude.

    And those girls…what are they thingking? RUN from him!



  8. Adam
    June 13, 2007 9:43 am

    hmmm…we raise the minimum wage…and then there are less people with minimum wage jobs…there’s an economics lesson in here somewhere…wasn’t raising the minimum wage supposed to HELP people with low paying jobs (like grocery store cashiers I’d assume).



  9. free food at giant eagle!
    June 13, 2007 11:30 am

    heh, those self-checkout lines have been a boon to family expense reduction.

    $1.79 per LB bibb lettuce? Nawww, it’s $0.39 cabbage. whu? $4.24 for vidalia onions?! Waitasecondminute – I think them are really those $1.89 spanish onions. yeah, that’s it. that’s the ticket.



  10. BBM
    June 13, 2007 11:34 am

    free food–SSSSHHHHH! You’re going to get us all caught! But then again, when there were cashiers, they didn’t know the difference between a cucumber and zucchini anyway, so we’re just keeping the tradition going.



  11. MrPgh
    June 13, 2007 11:34 am

    The mass wedding is the DUMBEST idea…



  12. PittGirl
    June 13, 2007 12:15 pm

    MrPgh,

    Monkeys, I tell you. Monkeys are running this thing.

    PittGirl



  13. Ruby Vroom
    June 13, 2007 1:30 pm

    My Jeff Reed hate knows no bounds. That is all.



  14. Sofa King
    June 14, 2007 8:04 am

    They should’ve gone for world’s largest mass divorce…then a few people might at least pay attention.

    How out of touch are the event planners for the city? I heard the second and third place ideas were the world’s largest Charleston competition and the world’s largest hand jive.



  15. Pinto Alegre
    June 14, 2007 4:02 pm

    Um..did I read that right? PittGirl has admitted to have a naked picture of herself on the web (“I’ve gone 33 years and it has only happened once”). Woo hoo! I wonder what web site it appeared on? :D



  16. TRUTHTELLER
    June 14, 2007 4:28 pm

    Dear lord, Jeff Reed looks like sh*t! Those girls are obviously either REALLY drunk, REALLY desperate or REALLY phony. Or maybe a combination of all of them. F-U-G x 1,000!!!



  17. Brian
    June 15, 2007 3:12 pm

    I enjoy how the people least capable of self-scanning their groceries always seem to be the ones who end up there now. Of course, the Eagle closest to my house is filled with technology-fearing people who don’t go near the self-checkout lines. I’ve gone there before where the lones are 10 people deep, and I can walk right up to self-checkout and be out of there. Thank God for stupid people.



  18. Brian
    June 15, 2007 3:12 pm

    I enjoy how the people least capable of self-scanning their groceries always seem to be the ones who end up there now. Of course, the Eagle closest to my house is filled with technology-fearing people who don’t go near the self-checkout lines. I’ve gone there before where the lines are 10 people deep, and I can walk right up to self-checkout and be out of there. Thank God for stupid people.