Comments on: Rant, by PittGirl

By: Sofa King

Sofa King — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:08:25 +0000

beeN minimalized…damn typos!

By: Sofa King

Sofa King — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:07:19 +0000

Good point, Caryn.

I think we’ve definitely reached a point in society where the role of the father has bee minimalized to such a point that the mother essentially dictates the father’s role on a case-by-case basis. Fathers have little or no rights with respect to their offspring, not even having a say in whether the offspring lives or is aborted, yet they still have a legal obligation. To me, it’s a little funny that you can have a legal obligation in an issue where you have little or no legal rights. However, this is obviously the result of many fathers eschewing their responsibilities for years. Now, if a good, well-meaning man wants to have a positive role in his children’s lives, it is all the more difficult for him because of the mistakes of the negligent, absentee “fathers” that came before him.

By: Caryn

Caryn — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:33:20 +0000

Wow – the conversation has gone way off track with this whole father bit. I’ll just say I agree with Toni & Kelli seems to have her own agenda when it comes to fathers & responsibility. As for YinzerChick and Zsa, I do feel there is a difference in the cases between this instance and the couple in Portugal. In the Portugal case, the parents were in an enclosed compound, only 50 feet from the bedroom, going back to check regularly. Fifty feet from a dining spot to a child’s bedroom is not far, and many parents at home are farther from their sleeping children while eating, watching tv, or even sleeping. It was not neglect, abusive or criminal (although in retrospect I am sure they regret it and will struggle with that decision forever). The child, Madeline, was clearly targeted for kidnapping, as her sister and brother were next to her and were left behind. A targeted child is hard to protect, such as Elizabeth Smart, who was taken from her own home. Here, the mothers left for an extended period of time, went a significant distance away, and made NO effort to check on the kids (or have anyone else watch over them). There is a difference between making a bad decision and making a clearly wrong decision.

By: Kelli

Kelli — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 21:08:27 +0000

I am not attacking the fathers. My arguement is that if there is any blame on society it would be that society lets fathers off the hook of being fathers. I do believe it is a cultural issue, the culture of America, where fathers are caught in a huge struggle concerning their rights and responsibilities.

And I am a huge supporter of father’s rights. But I believe that men need to step up and take the responsibilities. As long as we as a society continue to diminish the responsibility of men as fathers, we as society can continue to deny them their right as fathers. It is a problem in society.

toni, please do not read things into my statements that are not there. I didn’t assume that the father didn’t want his visitation to end because the mother was unfit. I said:

“And the father that didn’t want the children to go back to their mom? I have to wonder why he didn’t want them to go back. So many possibilities have come to mind, most of which are just really sad.”

I never mentioned any specific thing. Maybe he missed them. Maybe he worried about them. Maybe he like the attention they brought him. Maybe he just like his life better when they were there. Whatever. Maybe it was one of a million other things. In light of what happened, any of them seem sad to me. There was no assumption in that comment.

By: toni

toni — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 21:00:21 +0000

Kelli….one father is a turd in prison, thats a given. So, what are you saying? If a mans not in your life actively helping you, it’s Ok to fold up like a flower …or…leave your kids to party?

The OTHER father is HARDLY a man who was out of his childrens lives. He had just had his children for several days…had them overnight and at a graduation party. You want me to blame a guy for letting a mother take her children home when she wanted to after he had just had a long visitation????!!!!!

As I said, I’ll blame a guy hands down for alot of stuff but I sure won’t blame them when they are in the childs life ( Andre) or not in their lives at all at any point ( the turd in prison). Neither father walked out of a house and locked the door behind them with children inside.

Hell, using your reasoning why not blame the grandparents, aunts and cousins. Anybody but the mothers.