As Steeler Nation converged on the mall, word spread that the noon autograph session with defensive backs Anthony Smith and Ryan Clark had been canceled.
Clark, who was visiting family in New Orleans, arrived at the airport to find out his flight had been delayed. He would be unable to get another flight until early afternoon – too late for the autograph session at the mall. Anthony Smith wanted more money for his appearance.
“When he found out that Clark was unable to make it, he wanted us to double his fee,” said promoter Pete Ausiello of B&G Sports Memorabilia, who represents the four players who were to appear at the mall.
Anthony Smith? Who the hell are you?
I’ll tell you who you are … you are a giant giant jackass who has been a Steeler all of one whole year, whose most memorable play was your incredible display of jackassery after an interception last season, who is currently the backup to Ryan Clark, and who got a whopping $520,000 bonus check less than a year ago. You are paid handsomely to play football seven months out of the year. Shut up, show up, smile, and show a little teeny bit of class, you giant giant jackass.
You’ve been named the next Annoying Burgher. Your crown is in the mail, and by crown I mean a flaming bag of jackass poop.