1. Like seriously, I have no idea why, but last night while I slept my cutie pie little toy terrier dog pounced on my uncovered foot and proceeded to claw maniacally at it like it was a HoHo trying to escape a hungry Burgher. I bled. My foot is completely scratched up and unless there was a tarantula about to sink fangs into my ankle, I am royally pissed at the little monster who I notice is just the perfect size for a good, sound drop kicking. I’m sleeping in my snow boots tonight. With my taser.
2. Julie Gong wrote, “You’ve seen this, right?” Yes, I have. But maybe you haven’t. Check it out (tm Wendy Bell). Never in my life have I laughed so hard at a pierogi. Only thing that would have made it more awesome would be if after the blackout the camera came back on to find The Terrible Idea standing over their bodies holding a bloody steel beam.
3. Maybe, just maybe, WalMart should stop trying to build their stores on the tippy tops of unstable hills.
4. You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching.
5. The moms will be charged today. This is the right thing to happen. Just don’t get me started on this statement from one of their lawyers:
“They’re saying that, had the mother been home, the fire would not have been set. That’s not so,” Mr. Sharif said yesterday. “That’s just speculation. Being absent from home is not the cause of the death. The law says there has to be a direct connection.”
Dude! If mom had been home, the kids would likely not have played with matches, would not have set the place on fire, and the others would not have died. And if they had played with matches and set the house on fire, the other kids would have been saved because they wouldn’t have been allegedly locked in a room and mom would be there to save them. That’s all the connection I need.
And look, you got me all started.
7. Man, that’s a really bad day or a Nationwide commercial.