1. Reader Heavy T pointed me to this hilarious post about alli, Burgh-based GlaxoSmithKline’s new over-the-counter miracle diet pill with a side effect of YOU WILL DEFINITELY SHIT OIL IN YOUR PANTS WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK.
Then there are the side effects, which can include oily discharge, diarrhea and uncontrollable bowel movements significant enough for the company to recommend carrying an extra pair of pants until users have acclimated to the drug.
I think the “miracle” part is that anyone can be so desperate to lose weight that instead of making a lifestyle change by eating right and exercising, they would actually take a pill that they KNOW WILL MAKE THEM SHIT OIL IN THEIR PANTS WHILE THEY ARE AT WORK.
Put down the HoHo and take a walk.
2. If you are in need of a David Conrad fix, here’s a video discovered by reader Denise. You don’t need to understand it. Just watch it for David. Or you can check out this trailer for the movie Dumpster, discovered by me.
3. Survivor casting call. Is that show still on?
“It came, ‘Make paddles. Give them away,'” he said. “I blew it off. The fourth time, it came real hard.”
Maybe God meant crash cart paddles? Or kayak paddles? And not so much hit your kid paddles. Just a thought.
Salvati also put together appointment slips so kids and parents can schedule spankings.
“Daddy, I used a bad word. Do you think you can pencil me in for a four o’clock spanking?”
Don’t freak out at me. I’m not against discipline, but I am against using a two-by-four to mete it out.
5. Did anyone else in the whole country watch USA beat Mexico in the Gold Cup final? That’s soccer, people. Anyone at all? Seriously, it looked like Mexico there in Soldier Field in Chicago. I think I saw maybe 10 Americans in the stands. It is a shame this country isn’t more into soccer because it was an AWESOME game and our guys deserved more support than was there.