Most awesome line you’re going to read in One of America’s Great Newspapers today:
Inmates get sanctioned if they’re caught with their heads in the toilet bowl.
And here you would have thought that putting your head in a toilet bowl would be a punishment and not something for which to be punished.
Do you think Paris Hilton put her head in her toilet bowl?
[smacks herself hard for mentioning She Who Should Never Be Mentioned By Name Again.]
The SECOND most awesome line you’re going to read today:
You always hear about these things happening across the country, but you never think it will happen in your own back yard.
What? A mudslide? A murder? A fire? A kidnapping?
No, a beetle.
He means LITERALLY in your own back yard.