That's Church

Most awesome line you’re going to read in One of America’s Great Newspapers today:

Inmates get sanctioned if they’re caught with their heads in the toilet bowl.

And here you would have thought that putting your head in a toilet bowl would be a punishment and not something for which to be punished.

Do you think Paris Hilton put her head in her toilet bowl?

[smacks herself hard for mentioning She Who Should Never Be Mentioned By Name Again.]

The SECOND most awesome line you’re going to read today:

You always hear about these things happening across the country, but you never think it will happen in your own back yard.

What? A mudslide? A murder? A fire? A kidnapping?

No, a beetle.

He means LITERALLY in your own back yard.