Bam! With french fries on top.

PG writer Dennis B. Roddy has lost his mind.

In writing an article about a lunatic that punched a fast food drive-through worker in Penn Hills, Denny uses all of the following AWESOME lines:

  • A Penn Hills man’s beef with a drive-through clerk at Wendy’s ended in a knuckle sandwich and Penn Hills police promptly served assault charges for dessert.
  • That, according to police, is when Duane L. Williams, 46, gave added new dimensions to the concept of hitting on the waitress.
  • Police say the manager followed the man to his car, got the license plate and ordered up a squad car with a side of prosecution.

Somebody want to take a lit match to Denny’s water cup?  Might be some vodka got thrown in there.

Also:

Police initially described Mr. Williams as a man from Penn Hills who lives with his mother.

That?  Makes perfect sense.

(h/t Wrigley Grec)





12 Comments

  1. Judge Rufus Peckham
    June 29, 2007 11:15 am

    Dennis is a genius, pure and simple.



  2. Denise
    June 29, 2007 11:24 am

    I hope the “supersize” his sentence….sorry, really…



  3. JeepJeep
    June 29, 2007 11:27 am

    hmmm kinda like that movie “Falling Down” with Michael Douglas

    Im surprised it hasnt happened more often to be honest…not that I condone it at all…



  4. Puma
    June 29, 2007 11:31 am

    Where’s his editor? A girl was assaulted by that lunatic!



  5. JeepJeep
    June 29, 2007 11:48 am

    yup…definitely makes fun of the situation



  6. Puma
    June 29, 2007 3:57 pm

    Hated Roddy’s article, but love the Smoke Blog’s!



  7. Judge Rufus Peckham
    June 29, 2007 4:07 pm

    Puma, you are too kind.



  8. Oddmanout
    June 30, 2007 9:54 pm

    Ick, how did MOMMY let this genius out of the house to go to wendys? HE LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER?????? HE’S 46 years old? Wow, there’s a catch for you, ladies….



  9. silverb
    July 1, 2007 7:03 pm

    Isn’t Denny just too cute – with the less than erudite writing at the paper, you would think that just maybe they could hire someone who cared, even if they couldn’t write. Frat boy?



  10. beanloaf
    July 9, 2007 11:49 pm

    A long time ago when I was a congressional campaign worker and Roddy was a scab reporter during the newspaper worker strike, we had this conversation:

    “Why won’t your campaign consent to an interview?”
    “Because, Dennis, we don’t talk to scabs.”
    “I’ve got to make a living!”
    “I believe that the McDonald’s down the street from our campaign office is hiring. Get a job there, and I’ll talk to you on your lunch break.”

    Perhaps he took my advice…



  11. Dennis Roddy
    July 31, 2007 10:04 pm

    Beanlof’s post is a total fiction. The Press newsroom was not represented by a union (I had been on the committee that attempted to organize The Guild at The Press). When the drivers went on strike we were not asked to stay out of the building, just as Post-Gazette reporters, who had a valid union contract, were given the go-ahead by the unity council to attend to what was left of their jobs.

    The interview request to which Beanloaf refers was a request for an interview with Denise Winebrenner Edwards, a local communist (I am not exagerrating here; she was CPUSA) who was running as an independent for congress.

    I never said anything vaguely resembling what the poster says. I never made reference to “making a living.” I did say that there had been no request for us to stay out of work and that without a union, we essentially had no bargaining position to strike.

    A posting calling me a “scab” on that basis is libelous on its face. But one expects libel from anonymous cowards. Would Beanloaf care to step up and be identified? Would PittGirl like to step up and answer to this lie?