1. Would someone please explain to me how I can reconcile these two statements in my head because they are fighting each other to the death up there and if I can’t figure out a way for them to get along, my headache will NEVER go away:
In a statement, the mayor said he was “not satisfied with the condition of city government” and will conduct a nationwide search for the best candidates to run departments.
Luke Ravenstahl has brought in his former high school athletic trainer to help whip things into shape. David White, 37, started a week ago in a new communications post called director of public affairs. His salary is $88,859.
Statement #1 has broken out the nunchucks, and Statement #2 just screamed something about fists of fury. So hurry it up. And while you’re explaining that to me, can you throw in a snippet about how a high school athletic trainer is qualified to run the public affairs office?
I totally appreciate it, you guys!
2. Speaking of Luke, Jim also writes:
Hey, I ran into Lukey over the weekend. You’re changing the world again, PittGirl. His hair is looking considerably longer (by his standards). Maybe his wife, the stylist (who, by the way, is an incredibly gracious woman), dropped a few hints.
Please, if I was really changing the world, would that world still contain pigeons? Huh?
Also? Erin Ravenstahl rocks and is super close to being the next Smokin’ Hot Burgher.
3. When are they going to make bacon with resealable bags? Do YOU eat 20 pieces of bacon in one sitting?
Fast food and a super-size temper led to a knuckle sandwich at a Penn Hills Wendy’s restaurant, where police say a customer, reportedly upset that he didn’t hear “have a nice day,” returned to the drive-thru window and punched a female clerk in the head.
It was not immediately clear whether this improved anyone’s day.
Mike (Dayton): I was slamming beers in Pittsburgh this weekend to make the girls hotter. Did I make the right decision?
Bill Simmons: Come on, you can’t diss the ‘Burgh like that! Pittsburgh girls are underrated.
We do rock, don’t we, ladies? Mike from Dayton can kiss my gorgeous ass.
6. I was in the bathroom at Giant Eagle the other day washing my hands when two women exited their stalls and DID NOT WASH THEIR HANDS before returning to their carts. This post makes so much sense now. Yuck!
7. And finally:
“It’s a black eye, there’s no doubt about it,” Ravenstahl said of the furor over the promotions. “My goal now is to make good decisions as we move forward.”
Drink ’em if you got ’em. And we know Denny’s got ’em.