Random n@.

1. Would someone please explain to me how I can reconcile these two statements in my head because they are fighting each other to the death up there and if I can’t figure out a way for them to get along, my headache will NEVER go away:

Statement #1:

In a statement, the mayor said he was “not satisfied with the condition of city government” and will conduct a nationwide search for the best candidates to run departments.

Statement #2:

Luke Ravenstahl has brought in his former high school athletic trainer to help whip things into shape. David White, 37, started a week ago in a new communications post called director of public affairs. His salary is $88,859.

Statement #1 has broken out the nunchucks, and Statement #2 just screamed something about fists of fury. So hurry it up. And while you’re explaining that to me, can you throw in a snippet about how a high school athletic trainer is qualified to run the public affairs office?

I totally appreciate it, you guys!

(h/t Jim)

2. Speaking of Luke, Jim also writes:

Hey, I ran into Lukey over the weekend. You’re changing the world again, PittGirl. His hair is looking considerably longer (by his standards). Maybe his wife, the stylist (who, by the way, is an incredibly gracious woman), dropped a few hints.

Please, if I was really changing the world, would that world still contain pigeons? Huh?

Also? Erin Ravenstahl rocks and is super close to being the next Smokin’ Hot Burgher.

3. When are they going to make bacon with resealable bags? Do YOU eat 20 pieces of bacon in one sitting?

4. Denny added another line to his printed article about the drive-through punching:

Fast food and a super-size temper led to a knuckle sandwich at a Penn Hills Wendy’s restaurant, where police say a customer, reportedly upset that he didn’t hear “have a nice day,” returned to the drive-thru window and punched a female clerk in the head.

It was not immediately clear whether this improved anyone’s day.

5. Bill Simmons is smitten with us Burgh girls:

Mike (Dayton): I was slamming beers in Pittsburgh this weekend to make the girls hotter. Did I make the right decision?

SportsNation Bill Simmons: Come on, you can’t diss the ‘Burgh like that! Pittsburgh girls are underrated.

We do rock, don’t we, ladies? Mike from Dayton can kiss my gorgeous ass.

(h/t Randi)

6.  I was in the bathroom at Giant Eagle the other day washing my hands when two women exited their stalls and DID NOT WASH THEIR HANDS before returning to their carts.  This post makes so much sense now.  Yuck!

7. And finally:

“It’s a black eye, there’s no doubt about it,” Ravenstahl said of the furor over the promotions. “My goal now is to make good decisions as we move forward.”

Drink ’em if you got ’em.  And we know Denny’s got ’em.

(h/t NoSide15212)


  1. Judge Rufus Peckham
    July 2, 2007 10:37 am

    As for number one: My sources tell me the mayor DID hold a nationwide search for Director of Public Affairs and after reviewing thousands of resumes, mirabile dictu, he found the best candidate just happened to be his former high school athletic trainer and friend. It is a small world, isn’t it?

  2. spoon
    July 2, 2007 11:27 am

    Lukey AND Steve Guttenberg in a tux! He really is going all out for a staff.

  3. Mac
    July 2, 2007 11:31 am

    Is that Mrs. Luke? She is much better looking than her husband. Not that I have a problem with that. After all, having a wife who is much better looking than me is working out pretty well from my vantage.

  4. Chase
    July 2, 2007 11:39 am

    Bill Simmons is a terrible writer and a very very annoying man. Bragging because he thinks Pittsburgh girls are underrated (while that is indeed true) is a little…disturbing.

  5. Johnny
    July 2, 2007 11:52 am

    I eat 20 pieces of bacon at a sitting. I’ll come eat your bacon. It’s the least I can do.

  6. dubvee 95
    July 2, 2007 11:56 am

    Not defending Lukey, mind you, but David White at least has some claim to experience. The PG story noted, “Mr. White was most recently the manager of community relations for UPMC Health Plan, and before that he was executive director of the organization that ran the 2005 Senior Olympics here”

    Let’s just drop the pretense of the nationwide search, shall we? Lukey?

  7. Annon
    July 2, 2007 12:42 pm

    That is Judge (former Mt. Washington City Councilman) Alan Hertzberg in the tux picture, not Steve Guttenberg.

  8. Mia
    July 2, 2007 1:36 pm

    “not satisfied with the condition of city government” – Okay, you were possibly thinking he meant the condition of city government itself when what he really meant was the condition of the people in city government. The former high school atheletic trainer is there to get the people in shape, not the government itself. After all, how we can we expect the government to work effectively when the people in that government are out of shape?? First we get them healthy and fit and then they will be able to do their jobs better and then we’ll have a more fit government. It all makes perfect sense. You just need to cock your head to the side, no not that side the other one, then squint a little…that’s it, okay not look at it like you were trying to see the sailboat in the 3D picture….nono, let your eyes cross a little more…there! Perfect! Now, can’t you see it makes perfect sense?!?!

  9. blee
    July 2, 2007 2:06 pm

    In response to #5 I submit this entry from Urban Dictionary:

    Pittsburgh Hot

  10. JeepJeep
    July 2, 2007 2:30 pm

    Can we just move forward the process to have Mrs. Mayor the next Smokin Hot Burger?

    Yessir…drinky drinky

    By the way PG…youre right…youve got an onion bum…it just makes me wanna cry when I see it…

    (MAN I hope PG isnt really Sally Wiggin)

  11. Joey
    July 2, 2007 3:07 pm


    From a self-proclaimed bacon affectionado (and yes, I could probably eat 20 slices in one sitting), try the Oscar Mayer (no relation to John, btw), already cooked bacon. Very few slices, and it’s not all that bad. Better than wasting good pork!

  12. i get it now
    July 2, 2007 3:48 pm

    Lukey didn’t have to look too far to get Kristin Baginski, his deputy chief of staff. Longtime family friend…so much for a national search.

  13. HavingFunNow
    July 2, 2007 4:19 pm

    I hear Alan Hertzberg is as obnoxious now as he was back in high school … I had the great fortune of attending the same and graduating along with him. I also knew his first wife and she is much better off without him. Are those three golden horns coming out of his escort’s head? Hope he is nicer to her than he was to Karen.

  14. Moe the Dog
    July 2, 2007 4:53 pm

    I don’t mean to pile on boy wonder, but shouldn’t someone teach him how to hold a wine glass…there is a reason it has a stem, sonny.

  15. Bram R
    July 2, 2007 7:17 pm

    I have in fact eaten all 20 slices of bacon under the causus belli of not knowing how to re-wrap the remainder.

    In re underrated, you’ve got to know where to go. William Penn Place is a nice street.

  16. NoSide15212
    July 2, 2007 7:36 pm

    I say you unleash both nunchucks AND fists of fury and take a walk on over to Grant Street –shaking that smoking hot, Pittsburgh moneymaker all the while, then open up a gianormous can of whomp ass on Mayor Blutarsky.

    No doubt, Dayton is on the world stage as an International Hotbed of Modeling Talent; nevertheless …”somewhere, in the state of Ohio, a village is missing it’s idiot.” Pittsburgh girls are hot. Period.

  17. PittCheMBA
    July 2, 2007 9:30 pm

    88K for Director of Public Affairs? Holey Cheese and Crackers.

  18. Fisticuffs
    July 3, 2007 8:10 am

    I believe Opie played baseball with Baginski’s brother, as well. I could be mistaken, though.

    It IS a small world when you search the whole thing and find all the most qualified people within 5 miles of your dad’s house.

  19. i get it now
    July 3, 2007 11:18 am

    opie did play baseball with the baginski brother at no. cath., was at the baginski brother wedding and so on and so on and so on. opie’s parents and baginski parents are longtime friends. whaddyathink?