Monthly Archives: August 2007

Because Steelers fans will buy ANYTHING!

I had no idea the amount of oddities you could purchase for the Steelers fan in your life.

Step right up as I open my trench coat to reveal some of the better ones:

1. A talking bottle opener featuring the voice of Bill Hillgrove. Yours today for the low low price of $8.95. Luckily, my Zimas are twist offs, so I don’t need this.

2. Do your tailgating in a swimming pool! (read product features) This is because football takes place predominantly during the warm summer months. That’s just a fact.

3. Need to shut up that annoying drunken Browns fan next to you? This might be just the thing you’re looking for!

4. Do you so get a kick out of it when your children wake up screaming?! I bet! Then this is for you! And it’s under $80! Lucky you.

5. Perhaps you’d like a kinder, gentler Steely McBeam?

I’d like to interrupt my sales pitch to remind you once again that Steely McBeam is the giantest vacuum of suck EVER!

6. This Christmas. Your tree. These three. Make it happen.

7. When it’s time to GET IT ON with the special lady in your life, she’ll find nothing more romantic than a room full of these glowing candles. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you.

8. That’s just classy. I don’t care who you are.

9. For that person in your life that thinks Benny is SO HOT SQUEEEEEEEEEE! can I interest you in this?

I’ll end my pitch by telling you that this might be the most awesome thing EVER!





Niiiiice.

Reader Heather pointed me to this little tidbit from American Spa magazine:

David Conrad, star of CBS’s “Ghost Whisperer,” recently enjoyed a Yon-Ka Paris facial. After discovering the line on the set of the show, Conrad and actress girlfriend Amanda Tosch ventured to the company’s headquarters in Rockaway, NJ, for treatments. “I will be using Yon-Ka until I am old and gray,” says Conrad.

Amanda Tosch?  Check her out:

She’s a former Ford model and WAY TO GO, DAVID!

Now all those chickadees finding my blog by searching for “David Conrad girlfriend” will hit pay dirt.





Random n@.

1. Out of Colorado:

An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

“It causes a lot of conflict on the playground,” said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school.

Running games are still allowed as long as students don’t chase each other, she said.

You know what? If you don’t run, you can’t be chased.

If you don’t want to play tag, just sit your ass down or go swing or something.

God.

(h/t Dan)

2. Those of you who are David Conrad fans like me, which should by now be EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, you can go here to watch him in an episode of Relativity. Enjoy.

3. How can you NOT love country music with lyrics like these?

Them panty-hose ain’t gonna last to0 long,

if the DJ puts Bon Jovi on.

She might come home in a table cloth,

yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off.

That sound you hear is bunches of Burghers turning their radio dials (Hello, 1982!) to Froggy 98.

4. The Buccos are no longer in last place and are only 8.5 games out of first. I am as shocked as you are.

5. Those of you wanting to see new pictures of Sonni are in luck, because now you can see her with the other hottest newswoman ever, Wendy Bell:

 

Bam! That’s a whole lot of hot.

(photo courtesy of Jim)

 





“Basically intolerable”

So I was browsing the Trib’s website when I saw a link to a multimedia page that would show me the “basically intolerable” bridges in Southwestern PA.

I assumed I would click on it and would see maybe a little slideshow of 10 bridges or so and then I would avoid those bridges like couscous (I hate couscous like the plague.)

Shit.

I opened that page up and was greeted with craploads and craploads of little red triangles of bridge-falling doom.

I don’t know about you, but if I was taking a hike in the woods and I came across a little pedestrian bridge over a river and at the entrance to that pedestrian bridge was a sign that said, “This bridge is structurally deficient and basically intolerable.  Walk at your own risk,” I would sooner make out with Steely McBeam than set a toenail on it.

And here I find out I’m daily driving my heavy SUV over bridges that should have that exact sign posted at them.

I was joking before, but now I’m serious.  We ARE all going to die.





Random n@.

1.  What the hell, Bill Peduto?  Are we all being punked? (h/t REARless)

2.  From an article about dogfighting in western PA:

The statute was originally motivated by a movement in California to ban “crush videos,” in which women wearing spike heels and short skirts slowly crush small animals to death for the sexual gratification of foot fetishists.

And once again, we can all thank the PG for showing us that the world is full of creepy freaks who better stay the hell away from me.

3.   From a PG article reviewing the recent Ozzfest 2007, specifically the band Lordi:

By far my favorite performance of the day, mostly because I couldn’t stop laughing. The Finnish band takes more than two hours putting on its costumes and makeup to look like the offspring of a Klingon and “Conan the Barbarian” villain.

Take a good look at these dudes.

And once again, we can all thank the PG for showing us that the world is full of creepy freaks who better stay the hell away from me.

4.  Dunkin Donuts will be opening 105 locations in the Burgh over the next several years.  That is NOT a typo.  105.  That donut-making dude is going to be TIRED.

5.  Holy shit!  Now THAT’S a winner, right there!  Man, if I were a dad, would my daughters be locked up! (h/t Sparky)

6.  In case you didn’t know that Leona Helmsley was one crazy bitch, let me tell you, Leona Helmsley was one. Crazy. Bitch.

7.  In a thread from April entitled “NOT happy with PittGirl at the moment” on Benny’s official forum, in which the minions are pissed about this post of mine, all of the following are said about me:

  • I’d like to have a cage match with Pittgirl over this one!
  • Pittgirl is always a class a A-hole
  • I think she is pathetic and is attention starved..but then again, I don’t read her unless it’s brought up on this site.
  • She obviously does it to get a reaction from people. And by the looks of it its working. Maybe Benji turned her down.
  • Burgh blog is the main example of Yinzer urge to nitpick.  That’s why I don’t read that crap!
  • She does it cause it gives her stupid blog traffic.  Otherwise people would ignore her and move on.

And my absolute personal favorite:

 Pittgirl to me has a heart blacker than sin.

Awesome!