Pigeons. Damn. Pigeons.

If I’m making these pigeon stories up, may a scientologist walk into my office and “audit” me right now.

Yesterday, a pigeon played Pigeon with me whilst I walked down Grant Street.

You know?

That game pigeons play where they fly directly at your head like a Ho-Ho headed for the mouth of a hungry Burgher and then at the very last second, just as you are about to let out a girly scream and hit the pavement, they put on their wing brakes, come to a complete hovering stop like a hummingbird, and land at your feet as if all, “Whoa!  Sorry about that, PittGirl.  I didn’t see you standing there. Ha-ha.”

I don’t buy it for one minute.

I buy pigeon-frying Tasers.


  1. Puma
    August 8, 2007 10:21 am

    When I wake up at 6am, not much phases me. Except this morning, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw outside my hallway window, two pigeons on the ledge. As if sharing the same brain, they turned to face me with a look that would kill, and I admit, it scared the crap out of me. Never fear, my short jump and the resulting scream “Gah!!!” scared them off. As a result, I went to work a lesser man today.

    I never bought into the pigeon conspiracy until this morning. They’re clearly out to get us.

  2. Lauren
    August 8, 2007 10:27 am

    Last weekend, the little boy who lives next door knocked on our door and told me he needed to go into my backyard. I asked him why. He told me that Waffle, his cat, was trying to kill a bird and he needed to stop him. So I let him into the backyard and took a peek at what was happening. There was Waffle, with the little boy coaxing him to hop over the wall, but there were also some suspicious looking feathers. I looked across the backyard (Arizona is great, we don’t have grass) and there was a pigeon, limping away. I don’t know if Waffle finished the job, but if he didn’t, there is a disabled pigeon trying to make it’s way out there. Pittgirl, do you think that it would be justified to kill it to “put it out of it’s misery?”

  3. BBM
    August 8, 2007 1:52 pm

    Perhaps you could borrow Luci to walk with you as you carry your pigeon-frying taser. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWfVxZR5Bd4.

  4. Rachel
    August 8, 2007 2:47 pm

    There used to be an old, wonderful peanut and coffee bean shop in market square. When I was under the age of 6, I would buy a bag of peanuts with my grandfather and then sprint away from the building, for fear of being terrorized. By the pigeons.

    Because it did happen.

  5. Who?
    August 14, 2007 10:53 pm

    I happened to stumble across this blog from CSB a week or so ago, and while flipping through it briefly, I discovered that you had a hatred for pigeons…

    …and the timing could have not been better: this past weekend I was in Washington, DC, stumbling around half a dozen museums with the family. At the International Spy Museum, you can imagine my amusement when I turned the corner…and there was an entire room (albeit a smaller room, but a room nonetheless) dedicated to pigeons. I kid you not. Thought that I should let you know (if you didn’t already know about The Room) that a decent museum had an entire room dedicated to everyone’s favorite bird.