That’s seventy THOUSAND entries and the best one of the bunch was … I can’t even type it … [inhales deeply to supress gag reflex] … Steely McBeam.
Uncle Crappy says:
I have to go finish laughing until I wet myself.
Woy (PittGirl’s Alfred the Butler) says:
I’ve never, ever been embarrassed to say that I’m a Steelers fan. Until now.
That’s some funny shit. When I heard that name, I immediately thought, “That would make an awesome porn star name!” Fourth and inches? No problem for Steely McBeam! Wakka chikka wakka chikka…
Not only does the mascot look like a psychopath, but now he has this terrible name to boot. It sounds like something you would make up when you are drunk. I can only assume that the person who submitted this name is a raging alcoholic.
I had just come to terms with the fact that this ugly thing even existed (if Benny is the Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross, Steely McBeam is the King of all Fugdom), when they go and give it a name that is the equivalent of loading live, smart-bomb ammo into the trash-talking cannons of Browns fans everywhere.
What the hell do you say when that drunk Browns fan next to you starts ragging on Steely McBeam?
I tell you what I’m going to say right after I throw beer in that person’s face. I’m going to say, “You, drunken ugly, sir are so right and if I was a different kind of person, I would break into Steelers headquarters, steal every Steely McBeam costume I could find, take them to the parking lot of Heinz Field and burn them all in a glorious bonfire of ‘What the hell were you thinking, Rooneys?’ and I would be a hero and when I was brought before the judge for breaking, entering, stealing, and bonfiring, the judge would say, ‘PittGirl, you are charged with stealing and burning every Steely McBeam costume ever made. I hereby sentence you to being named the most awesome person in the world and also, on behalf of Steeler Nation, here’s a million dollars. Rock on, PittGirl. Rock. On.'”