Never doubt PittGirl.

Pounded by heavy trucks, weakened by missing bolts and strained by cracking steel, the failed Minneapolis freeway bridge also faced a more mundane enemy: birds.

The pigeons that made the bridge their home also used it as their toilet. Inspectors began documenting the buildup of pigeon dung on the Interstate 35W bridge two decades ago, a problem that persisted through the years.

Experts say the guano they deposited all over steel beams helped rust the bridge faster.

Huh? Huh?! HUH?!?!!?!?

That’s right, Burghers. The damn pigeons played a role in bringing down the bridge in Minnesota.

And you doubted me when I told you that they are doing Satan’s work. Let this be a lesson to you all that PittGirl speaks the gospel truth. Pigeons ARE evil and all must die. David Conrad IS the awesomest Burgher ever. Troysus IS practically Jesus. Jim Lokay DOES rock. Benny IS fug and gross.

Also? Next time I’m holding a pigeon-kicking and tasering gathering in Market Square and some naked PETA person shows up to tell me that pigeons have feelings and God, PittGirl your taser could kill a horse and this is SO animal cruelty? Man, am I FINALLY going to have a retort other than, “So’s your mother!”

(h/t to Bill, Viv, Joe, NoSide15212, Dee, and MountaineerHoo. Did I forget anyone?)





11 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    August 23, 2007 9:50 am

    I’m up for getting together to kick and taser PETA people. Wheeee! That would beat a ride on the Gold Rusher.



  2. NY Luvs Pitts
    August 23, 2007 10:00 am

    I’m a believer PG, I’m a believer.



  3. Bill
    August 23, 2007 10:23 am

    According to Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs there are more than 60 ways to die from pigeon poop in addition to being very corrosive to steel.



  4. TC
    August 23, 2007 10:32 am

    Just make sure you taser them at ground level. We all remember what happened the last time someone went up on a rooftop to exact some feathered justice.



  5. BBM
    August 23, 2007 11:22 am

    A taser wouldn’t be the only way to go http://www.canceledflight.com/. PittGirl–you’re copy will be under the Christmas tree.



  6. Cheese
    August 23, 2007 11:35 am

    oh PittGirl – why did it take so long for others to see that Pigeons are evil?
    You would have loved my dad, he was one to head to a nearby bridge with his weapons of destruction and send pigeons back to hell (from whence they came). Once he was shooting them off my Grandma’s roof, and the neighbors roofs too – as they’re acidic shat (ding) can be destructive.
    G’mas home was just over the city line, and Pgh’s finest showed up and said .. you can’t be shooting firearms within city limits.
    So my dad being ever so smart, decided to soak some corn in grain alcohol and as the pigeons were falling drunk from my g’mas tall roof, he was wringing their little necks. No, he didn’t want these birds to suffer, he just wanted them DEAD.
    ok folks .. you can get some whole corn at a feed store, and I’m sure yinz all know where to get some grain alcohol, or some high potency moonshine…



  7. chrys
    August 23, 2007 3:54 pm

    Holy Crap!! I just saw this on TV!! I think it’s time to form a posse and rid our city of the evil pigeon.. I am standing by with pitchfork, torch and tazer in hand!!
    I know pigeons are dirty birdies.. but wow.. I didn’t realize just how deadly the little bastards are!



  8. Pensgirl
    August 23, 2007 3:55 pm

    My uncle, who owns a company that has done many projects for Philadelphia, once told me how many pounds of guano they had to remove from City Hall. Let me put it this way: they were worried the additional weight would cause the building to sink into the ground.



  9. Chuck
    August 23, 2007 5:54 pm

    Pigeon TASERING??….I thought you said Pigeon TASTING gathering.
    damn, I am so up for a good barbque



  10. Still A. Fan
    August 23, 2007 7:48 pm

    i used to walk thru city hall in philly on my way to lunch. you literally had to dodge the dung.



  11. NoSide15212
    August 24, 2007 12:57 am

    At first I was all, “what the f@$k is PG’s deal with the pigeons??” Now i’m all, like, “damn, those motherf@$#ers are taking down America’s infrastructure. Not just bothering a yinzer on her way to the bus.” It is on, now, PittGirl. The battle is joined. Stay alive, PittGirl. I will find you…and buy you a $1.25 Coors Light draft.