Sometimes, PittGirl comes across an article so astounding that even though it doesn’t have anything to do with the Burgh, she can’t help but write about it because my GOD THEY ARE TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN INFANTS!
Thirteen-month-old Dominic Klatt stopped banging the furniture in the veranda, looked at his mother and clasped his right hand around his left wrist to signal that he needed to go to the bathroom.
His mother took the diaper-less tot to a tree in the yard, held him in a squatting position and made a gentle hissing sound — prompting the infant to relieve himself on cue before he rushed back to play.
If I ever encountered a mother whose child has a secret baseball type signal to use when he has to go potty and then would go potty when his mother hissed at him while holding him near a tree, I would assume they were all scientologists and run away screaming.
Parents who practice the so-called “elimination communication” learn to read their children’s body language to help them recognize the need, and they mimic the sounds that a child associates with the bathroom.
What sound do they make when their child needs to poop? Do they grunt and stuff? Also, “elimination communication”? Awesome!
Isis Arnesen, 33, of Boston, has a 14-week-old daughter, Lucia, who is diaper-free. She said it can be awkward to explain the process to people, such as when she helped Lucia relieve herself in a sink at a public restroom.
I just. What?!?!?!
“Sometimes I don’t know what’s gonna happen and it doesn’t work, and sometimes I feel a little embarrassed,” Arnesen said. “It makes her happy though, right? She smiles, she’s happy.”
You know what else makes babies happy? Toys.
And then there’s this picture:
Way to go, mom. That poor kid. He’s going to be 16 someday you know? He’s going to be 40 someday. And he’s going to realize someday that his fifteen minutes of fame were used up by his mother who pimped him out to MSNBC to take his picture being hovered over a potty while he waited for number 2.