Because Steelers fans will buy ANYTHING!

I had no idea the amount of oddities you could purchase for the Steelers fan in your life.

Step right up as I open my trench coat to reveal some of the better ones:

1. A talking bottle opener featuring the voice of Bill Hillgrove. Yours today for the low low price of $8.95. Luckily, my Zimas are twist offs, so I don’t need this.

2. Do your tailgating in a swimming pool! (read product features) This is because football takes place predominantly during the warm summer months. That’s just a fact.

3. Need to shut up that annoying drunken Browns fan next to you? This might be just the thing you’re looking for!

4. Do you so get a kick out of it when your children wake up screaming?! I bet! Then this is for you! And it’s under $80! Lucky you.

5. Perhaps you’d like a kinder, gentler Steely McBeam?

I’d like to interrupt my sales pitch to remind you once again that Steely McBeam is the giantest vacuum of suck EVER!

6. This Christmas. Your tree. These three. Make it happen.

7. When it’s time to GET IT ON with the special lady in your life, she’ll find nothing more romantic than a room full of these glowing candles. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you.

8. That’s just classy. I don’t care who you are.

9. For that person in your life that thinks Benny is SO HOT SQUEEEEEEEEEE! can I interest you in this?

I’ll end my pitch by telling you that this might be the most awesome thing EVER!


  1. DW
    August 31, 2007 9:47 am

    They have NASCAR toppers, too. NICE! Making Dale Earnhardt Jr. part of a wedding would classy and a wonderful memory…

  2. DW
    August 31, 2007 9:49 am

    Oh, and I wonder how the teams and NFL, NBA, etc feel about the use of logos and the like??

  3. danopsu
    August 31, 2007 9:54 am

    I stopped reading the post after PG said that she “opened up her trenchcoat to reveal” That was good enough for me

  4. merman
    August 31, 2007 10:11 am

    Suggestions for future Pittsburgh Steelers-licensed items:

    1. slot machine.
    2. breathalyzer.
    3. interlock ignition device.
    4. insulin pump.
    5. Hair gel/spray.
    6. White high tops.
    7. Jorts.

  5. Rachel
    August 31, 2007 10:37 am

    The links all open up to the same page for me. Is anyone else having that problem?

  6. debe
    August 31, 2007 11:00 am

    The links all open up to the same page for me to.

  7. PittGirl
    August 31, 2007 11:05 am

    Okay, suddenly the links stopped working, maybe because they were all on Benny’s site. I’m guessing his minions have done this? I’ll get them back.

  8. pittgirl
    August 31, 2007 11:15 am

    Links fixed. God.

  9. danopsu
    August 31, 2007 11:22 am

    Thanks for the links PG now I can feel sad for the people who actually buy this stuff

  10. One of Ben's minions
    August 31, 2007 12:03 pm

    My eyes are good…thanks pittgirl…
    Perhaps you need your tested!

  11. pittgirl
    August 31, 2007 12:13 pm

    I was just teasing there. It was too good of a joke not to post.


  12. danopsu
    August 31, 2007 12:40 pm

    they are a touchy bunch arent they

  13. WrigleyGrec
    August 31, 2007 1:49 pm

    I know how much you hate Steely and I have to admit I do to but the group over at posted a great website about Steely and his Tall Tales which I have to admit are pretty funny. My favorite is #22 because well Sienna Miller does suck.

  14. Bram R
    August 31, 2007 2:59 pm

    I think I’d like Zimas if they came in 40’s.

  15. chrys
    August 31, 2007 3:36 pm

    The ONLY thing that makes Benny REMOTELY attractive is M-O-N-E-Y! I really don’t think he is attractive at all, I think it’s the nose.. but OMG!! I have a few co-workers who are a bit younger than I am and they just go ga-ga over him. I myself go gag-gag.. Maybe some people are seeing Benny with their beer googles on??

    All I have to say to Benny is..PLEASE!! Don’t throw the ball to the other team!!! Throw it to a guy on the field who is dressed like you!

  16. Lynne
    August 31, 2007 4:18 pm

    6. Those nutcrackers are awesome!

  17. Trish
    August 31, 2007 4:31 pm

    8. Nice touch, PG.

  18. Michael
    August 31, 2007 9:44 pm

    Great list.

    I know some people that would really enjoy some of those items.

  19. BBM
    August 31, 2007 10:42 pm

    Why do the minions always have so much trouble with the spelling/grammar thing?

  20. Still A. Fan
    September 1, 2007 11:18 am

    #2 is a redneck hottub…just add hair dryer

  21. NY Luvs Pitts
    September 2, 2007 3:27 pm

    9. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me stop laughing. My sides are beginning to hurt.

  22. Bored at Work
    September 2, 2007 11:46 pm

    I thought I was directed to the wrong place with #9… But I quickly realized that that was simply complete brillance on your part. Love it!

  23. debe
    September 5, 2007 10:45 am

    Glad the links are fixed those nutcrackers are frightening!

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