Random n@.

1. Never ever have I ever wanted so badly to respond to a Craigslist ad just so I can meet the guy face to face and then kick him in the nuts.

2. “But Judge, it was a WET BURP!!”

3. When I first heard that there would be “affordable” living offered in the Downtown area for those Burghers that don’t have a couple of million in the bank, I was sure that “affordable” would turn out to be like $3,000 a month for rent. Not so. Actual AFFORDABLE downtown living! Awesome!

4. Jim Lokay, who in case you haven’t heard ROCKS, wrote:

Had you not been (a) ill or (b) insistent that no one know who you are, I would have invited you to last night’s “Hines Ward Show” taping. Your boy Daniel Sepulveda was a guest. A VERY nice guy.

This anonymity is such a bitch.

5. From the Random Acts of Kindness feature in the PG:

Good cigars for those who serve our nation
My brother and I were at the Pirates game the other night and ended up sitting behind the owner of Kangaroo Alley Cigars, based here in Pittsburgh. As we were drinking and talking throughout the night about sports, work and so on, my brother mentioned that he was an officer in the Navy set to depart for the Middle East next week and was in town to see the family before he shipped out.

As we left the game, Manny, the owner of Kangaroo Alley, pulls me aside and tells me to call him tomorrow.

As it turns out, he arranges to give me a cache of cigars to give to my brother and his boys to take with them when they ship out.

Now that’s the Pittsburgh Way.

BRANDON PELESKY, McDonald

I think I love Manny.

6. From the “OBVIOUSLY!!!!!” file:

According to a Scarborough Sports Marketing survey of 220,354 residents in 75 United States markets conducted last year, Pittsburgh has, by far, the largest base of NFL fans who are women.

Nationally, the average was 16 percent, which means that Pittsburgh has more than twice the number of female pro football fans than the average market, based on the survey’s results.

That’s because Pittsburgh girls are frickin’ awesome.

(h/t Honda Driver)

7. Rarely does a video make me laugh loud enough to bring colleagues running, but shit, this one did it. “I’m okay. I’m okay. This spreadsheet of important work-related numbers is just HIGH-LARIOUS!”

At :36 is when I laughed so hard that my mascara ran. AWESOME!!!!!!!!





16 Comments

  1. coolmommy123
    September 13, 2007 9:17 am

    #1, I’m confused. He wants to go out for a nice dinner in downtown Pittsburgh, but then later starts talking about being in Boston. Does Mr. Amazing live here, or is he posting this all over different cities? Guess he’s casting a wide net to find all of those classy ex-porn stars who want to take care of him.



  2. DW
    September 13, 2007 9:39 am

    #1, Mr. Amazing, likely is a basement dweller trying to live a fantasy between Halo battles.

    #5, classy move Manny, classy move. Hope the boys stay safe. Don’t smoke but I’ll make a little purchase for friends.



  3. JT
    September 13, 2007 9:41 am

    Wow that guy sounds awesome. Looks like you’ve found the Pittsburgh version of Smoove B, PittGirl.



  4. Denise
    September 13, 2007 10:17 am

    #1: I noticed that he was so particular in describing
    his “perfect” woman and their “perfect” evening, but failed to post a picture of his “perfect” self…Hmmmm?
    #5: Manny, you are the best!



  5. bucdaddy
    September 13, 2007 10:22 am

    3. Did you skim right over the “move forward” in the first graph? I know Mark Belko, and it’s entirely possible he used that in a semi-mocking manner.



  6. deebee
    September 13, 2007 10:45 am

    Western PA girls are frickin’ awesome!!! I’ll bet a football or hockey game wouldn’t be Mr Awesome’s idea of a great date.



  7. Kat
    September 13, 2007 12:17 pm

    Re: #1

    Everytime I see one of those “you will wear this, you will do this, you will like this” craigslist ads, the phrase “you will rub the lotion on {your] skin or else you get the hose” pops up in my brain. It’s a little creepy

    People who make up those “perfect” scenarios with “perfect” people are just setting themselves up for disappointment. He gets a few points for being literate, but those points immediately get taken away because he’s a douche.



  8. Erin
    September 13, 2007 12:20 pm

    #1 reminds me a little of the guy in American Psycho.
    That Browns video is comic genius! Loved that they included the shot of James Harrison tackling the fan.



  9. chrys
    September 13, 2007 1:04 pm

    Pgh girls rock!! Abso-freakin-lutely! I am an NFL fan.. I enjoy watching football even when it’s not the Steelers. Go ahead.. say it.. my hubby is a lucky man. LOL!

    And by the way.. the guy from craigs list is a complete dumbass and deserves a good butt kicking from every Pgh girl!! What a schmuck!



  10. James Foreman
    September 13, 2007 6:09 pm

    Item #1: If language is any guide to a person’s position on the Douchebaggery Meter, using the word “feminazi” is roughly equivalent to kicking an old lady down a flight of stairs.



  11. Meg
    September 13, 2007 9:28 pm

    #6- I actually heard this on DC’s NPR station this morning on my way to work. The female Steeler fans represent down here too!



  12. Bridget
    September 14, 2007 6:36 am

    #4–Think you should start a Jim Lokay tag… Love him!



  13. Zsa
    September 14, 2007 10:37 am

    James: well, actually, the word “feminazi” can be useful – it sets the nuts (like the ones who think men should be put in zoos) apart from fairly normal women who espouse feminist principles like equal pay for equal work. Too many women don’t like to call themselves feminists anymore because the ones using the term the most vocally are the extremists.

    That being said, this cheese dick sounds like he’s saying woman with brain = feminazi, which of course gives him a very high score on the DB scale.



  14. Pat
    September 14, 2007 4:55 pm

    #1: “I eat in the finest restaurants in Boston”? Other than beans, fluffernutters and boiled dinner, is Boston even regarded as a bastion of cuisine by anyone? Why not just say “I dine only in the finest restaurants of Xenia, Ohio.”

    Agree with the Smoove B reference. Only people who know nothing about “the finest” tend to talk about “the finest”, just like the only people who say “classy” are those who aren’t.



  15. TRUTHTELLER
    September 16, 2007 11:42 am

    1. What a catch…wonder why he’s still single? He Probably IS a serial killer like the guy in American Psycho, Erin!

    7. Heeheehee, that baby’s laugh makes my heart smile :)



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