I realize that stealing = bad and wrong and I totally plan to bring back that Sharpie I took home.
But do the State Police really need to be involved in what clearly appears to be a staff member taking peanut butter cups to the tune of 15 whole dollars?!!?
If you see someone consuming an unusual number of peanut butter cups, call state police at 814-226-1710.
How would that go?
Rotary Phone: Ring ring! Ring ring! Answer me, damn it!
State police officer: State police, can I help you?
Loser: Yeah, um, I’m sitting here on a bench in North Park and there’s this like dude standing under a tree eating like three peanut butter cups in one sitting. I heard you put an APB out on some peanut butter cups?