1. That hot chick cruising down the Parkway East this morning loudly and badly singing along to New Kids on the Block’s I’ll Be Loving You Forever? Totally wasn’t me.
2. Several readers wrote to inform me that I missed yesterday’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Oops.
Sorry I missed it. Never fear though. The Aussie Talk Like a Pirate Day isn’t until the 22nd of September. So on that day, I’ll be all, “Avast! Ye filthy pigeon of scurve. Be ye warned I bring the stiletto of doom to yer bilge-sucking ass … mate!”
3. From the police blotter:
Lauren Marie Cesnalis, 20, of Violet Street, Ross, was held for trial Sept. 13. Shaler police said that on July 15, Cesnalis was a passenger in a vehicle involved in a collision at a Sharpsburg restaurant. When the drivers were later involved in an altercation, police said Cesnalis bent over and exposed herself after pulling her shorts and underwear down to her ankles.
She mooned them?! HAH!
4. From the PG archives, a December 10, 1940 article about the Steelers. Why don’t journalists write this way anymore, because if there is a word the PG needs more of, it is “hereabouts.”
Also, does anyone have an NFL franchise they’d like to sell me for $35,000, because that’s how much the $2,500 the Rooney’s paid for the Steelers in 1933 would cost today, when calculated for inflation.
5. The Judge emailed me a link to The Gender Genie, which has a 75% success rate of judging my writing to be that of a female. I guess it is because us females tend to use words like feelings, serendipity, duvet, and ovaries while men tend to use words like breasts, beer, guns, iJustine, and fix ‘at guy’s wagon.