1. Boy, Viagra is NOT this chick’s friend. You guys out there that are desperately seeking a woman with no interest in sex … and you know you are! … she’s right there for the taking.
2. Does she mean “taken out” as in on a date or as in shoot my ass Soprano’s style?
3. Choose between those two prizes? But HOW??!?!
4. I’m afraid to ask because maybe it is something disgusting or porny, but what the hell is she doing in that pic?
5. I can’t say anything about this that I haven’t said a million times, but I’m going to say it: GOOD LORD, PLEASE PUT A SHIRT ON, YOU LOSER!
6. Cold baths, hot tea, and Golden Girls? That’s a catch right there, girls. Also, “I like things and stuff.” Hey, I like air and breathing! What a coincidence! We both like things and stuff!
7. I can’t say anything about this that I haven’t said a million times, but I’m going to say it: GOOD LORD, PLEASE PULL YOUR PANTS UP, YOU LOSER!
Any takers on the “I want to be spoiled and treated like a king” shit? Yeah, didn’t think so.
8. I wanted to make fun of this Burgher, but I think he might be awesome.
10. What about East Lebovians? Will you accept an East Lebovian?
11. YOU’RE WEIRD? LOL? Why don’t you contact number 1 up there and see if you can interest her in some of your bamboo for “MAXIMUM EXTASY!!!!!!”