Clueless Dad: Honey? Kids? Get yourselves spiffied up. We’re having a family outing!!!
Clueless Mom: We are? Where are we going? Should I wear earrings?
Clueless Kids: YAY!!!!! Are we going to Kennywood? Idlewild? Sandcastle? The zoo?
Clueless Dad: Nope. None of those.
Clueless Kids: Will there be games where we’re going?
Dad: You betcha, kiddos!
Kids: Ice cream and balloons?
Kids: Games and prizes?
Kids: YAY! Where are we going?!
Dad: The sewer plant! Now let’s get going so we can get there in time for the tour of the 56 acre wastewater treatment facility! Yay! Give me a W! Give me an A! Give me an S! Give me a T! Give me an E! What’s that spell?!
You cannot be serious.
Alcosan held its fourth annual open house at its Marshall-Shadeland headquarters on Saturday, essentially a family-oriented science carnival at a sewage plant. About 1,775 people attended Saturday’s event.
I am not so much flabbergasted that there is such a thing as a Sewage Plant Open House. I’m more flabbergasted that there are more than twenty people on earth that would go to a Sewage Plant Open House on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon.
The only way I would go to a Sewage Plant Open House is NEVER! NEVER EVER EVER, you hear me? Not even for David Conrad!
Oh, who am I kidding.
David Conrad could call me and say, “PittGirl, do you want to go to the Sewage Plant Open House with me?” and I’d be all, “Do I need to bring my own surgical mask or can I just buy one there?”