1. So let me get this straight. No Hines. No Troysus. No McFadden. No Hampton. No Asshat. Steelers win. Seattle doesn’t score a point.
I realize the defense and the backup guys are going to be getting lots of credit today, but I have to give a great deal of credit to Benny because after he got that first half out of his system, he rocked all sorts of awesomeness in the second half. Evading sacks (although again, I wish he wouldn’t hesitate so much to just take off running), hitting numbers in traffic, getting first downs on plays that should have died in the backfield, and just generally looking like he’s out to prove something.
I’m not hating his fug, gross guts today. In fact, today, if I saw him at Giant Eagle, I’d probably throw him down and make out with him.
This is troubling.
2. In addition, while Willie Parker is getting lots of credit for another 100+ yards game, I think Najeh “I’ll Poop In Your Closet” Davenport deserves credit for his non-feces contributions.
3. Chuck Noll was there looking old and fatter and old. And really old. Time is a heartless bitch. However, true to his awesome self, Coach Tomlin said:
“Don’t mention my name in the same sentence as coach Noll,” he said. “I was in awe of the man. We are all walking on the ground that he paved.”
4. How about Clark Haggans getting his helmet ripped off and STILL completing a sack? Those are some giant huevos right there. Poor Hasselbeck.
5. Did you see Daniel Sepulveda force the Seattle punt returner out of bounds with a diving tackle attempt? Awesome.
6. I don’t know when Elvis left the building, because Father of PittGirl actually attended the game. Did anyone sit by him? Did you hear him say when Elvis left? Did you tell him that wearing his Troy Polamalu jersey tucked into his shorts makes him look dorky? Thanks.
7. Troysus sat his holy self on the sidelines for the game. I wish he would shave.
Gasp! Did I just say something negative about Troysus’ appearance. ‘Scuse me while I dodge the imminent bolt of ass-frying lightning surely on its way here.
8. Speaking of hot things, Najeh Davenport said of the 88-degree on-field temperature during the game:
“It was real hot,” said Steelers running back Najeh Davenport, a Miami native who rushed for 58 yards and two touchdowns. “I don’t know how hot it was, but you’re going to get hot and you’re going to get tired.”
… and you’re going to poop in people’s closets.
“Hopefully, it summarizes us,” Tomlin said. “Football is unpredictable, but it is predictably unpredictable. Some of the things that we have gone through and prepared for show themselves. You feel good about your preparation and you feel good about your planning, so when it does occur, it is a non-issue. It is awesome to me that it is a non-issue with you guys today that Max Starks had to come in and play some at left tackle.”
I think when the dust settles, we will find out that some of the things that became stories this week are actually non-stories.
I’ve never been drunk on Columbus Day before. This is exciting!