I’ve got a gun, and I’m just crazy enough to use it.

From the AP:

That’s what a man was seeking Saturday when he handed a $1 million bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket. But when the Giant Eagle employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage, police said.

The man slammed an electronic funds-transfer machine into the counter and reached for a scanner gun, police said.

Police believe the $1 million note seized at the supermarket may have originated at a Dallas-based ministry. Last year, the ministry distributed thousands of religious pamphlets with a picture of President Grover Cleveland on a $1 million bill.

Obviously, this guy is a super special kind of crazy.  The kind of crazy that:

1.  believes that churches these days are handing out the sum of one million dollars to each person they attempt to bring to Jesus.

2.  believes that the cashier at Giant Eagle has enough cash in her drawer to break a million dollars.  “Yes, sir.  Would you like that in ten-thousand dollar bills with the picture of PeeWee Herman on them or one-hundred-thousand dollar bills with Sir Topham Hatt?”

3.  believes that a scanner gun is a weapon capable of doing anything other than reading a barcode on a heavy bag of dog food.  “Give me my million dollars back or I will, I will, I’ll READ you!”

Finally, did they really need to confiscate his million dollar bill?  The man is a lunatic, yes, but I don’t think there’s any danger of any establishment accepting the bill for payment.

Except maybe in Dubai.





10 Comments

  1. NoSide15212
    October 9, 2007 8:50 am

    Ha!! PittGirl that’s MY Giant Eagle on the North Side!! I was a few minutes late meeting friends because I had gone down to the ATM at the Ghetto Giiant when this guy was being arrested and I just had to watch this melee/trainwreck unfold. He was screaming and hollering about his “one thousand dollar bill” and the cop was all, “dude. you tried to buy a pack of gum with a million dollar bill.” Anyway, my friends didn’t believe me –“who the hell would try to pass a million dollar bill?” A total nutjob, that’s who. Sweet, sweet vindication –loves me so Ghetto Giant. ps, don’t buy the meat.



  2. NoSide15212
    October 9, 2007 9:00 am

    ps -I snapped this photo of the guy with my cell phone:
    http://www.dailyinfo.co.uk/images/cinema/millionbaby.jpg



  3. Pinto Alegre
    October 9, 2007 1:47 pm

    Um..why do you have a picture of Sir Topham Hatt on the top of this posting? There’s no mention of Thomas The Tank Engine here! :)



  4. Mia`
    October 9, 2007 2:02 pm

    Wow. Girl you read my mind! I was just coming to your page to ask you to encourage your readers to go get tested, to tell their friends and family to get tested…and here you already did. Thanks! October is not only Breast Cancer Awareness, it is also Colon Cancer Awareness, but there isn’t as much advertising of that. I would also encourage everyone to look into a Cancer Insurance Policy. I’m partial to the one my company sells, but there are several different companies that offer them. They cover over and above your medical insurance, and cover a lot of stuff that medical insurance doesn’t cover. They are really very inexpensive and could be a huge help if you are diagnosed with cancer.



  5. pittgirl
    October 9, 2007 2:05 pm

    Pinto:

    2. believes that the cashier at Giant Eagle has enough cash in her drawer to break a million dollars. “Yes, sir. Would you like that in ten-thousand dollar bills with the picture of PeeWee Herman on them or one-hundred-thousand dollar bills with Sir Topham Hatt?”

    PittGirl



  6. Mia`
    October 9, 2007 2:07 pm

    Oops. That was supposed to be in the Randam N@ post.



  7. Pinto Alegre
    October 9, 2007 3:19 pm

    Saw the Pee-Wee. Totally missed the STH. Mea culpa.



  8. The Bag of Health and Politics
    October 9, 2007 7:22 pm

    Colon Cancer awareness month is in March.



  9. Mia`
    October 10, 2007 9:48 am

    Hmmmm maybe it’s prostate then? I know there is something else this month. Can’t remember and can’t find it at the moment. Thanks!



  10. Pensgirl
    October 10, 2007 5:15 pm

    My grocery store collects for both prostate and breast cancer during the associated months and they’re different. I dunno what the other one would be.