That’s what a man was seeking Saturday when he handed a $1 million bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket. But when the Giant Eagle employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage, police said.
The man slammed an electronic funds-transfer machine into the counter and reached for a scanner gun, police said.
Police believe the $1 million note seized at the supermarket may have originated at a Dallas-based ministry. Last year, the ministry distributed thousands of religious pamphlets with a picture of President Grover Cleveland on a $1 million bill.
Obviously, this guy is a super special kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that:
1. believes that churches these days are handing out the sum of one million dollars to each person they attempt to bring to Jesus.
2. believes that the cashier at Giant Eagle has enough cash in her drawer to break a million dollars. “Yes, sir. Would you like that in ten-thousand dollar bills with the picture of PeeWee Herman on them or one-hundred-thousand dollar bills with Sir Topham Hatt?”
3. believes that a scanner gun is a weapon capable of doing anything other than reading a barcode on a heavy bag of dog food. “Give me my million dollars back or I will, I will, I’ll READ you!”
Finally, did they really need to confiscate his million dollar bill? The man is a lunatic, yes, but I don’t think there’s any danger of any establishment accepting the bill for payment.
Except maybe in Dubai.