Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus is coming to the Civic Arena in January, and parents all over the Burgh are pissed as all get out because the tickets sold out like one minute after they went on sale.
A Pittsburgh firm that sells some very sketchy software is being implicated because they appear to have enabled scalpers to use possibly a “bot” to purchase huge chunks of the tickets, leaving regular parents with normal incomes with no choice but to head to the secondary market where tickets are selling for ridiculous amounts of money.
I tell you this not so much because I care all that much. I tell you this because I found an asshole living in the Burgh and if you see him, I’d like you to let him know how much of a loser he is.
Some parents have posted plaintive messages on craigslist.com, an online classified ads service, saying they want tickets but can’t afford scalpers’ prices.
Brian Lanz , 35, of Crafton has no sympathy. In response to parents’ complaints, Lanz posted several mocking messages.
“You shouldnt (sic) have promised your kids something you couldnt (sic) afford nor obtain,” he wrote in one post. “You’re crying because you put your foot in your mouth. Now, your kids think YOUR (sic) the LIAR! LOL!”
Lanz, a researcher at a local university, said he is intrigued by RMG’s software but did not use it to buy the tickets. Instead, he stood in line at Mellon Arena with three friends and came away with 16 tickets, he said.
His wife will bring his two daughters to the show, and Lanz will sell the rest. He expects to pocket several thousand dollars.
“This Hannah Montana concert is one of the biggest concerts to come along in years,” he said. “It’s crazy. I wish I could get my hands on more.”
Wow, Mr. Lanz (http://www.myspace.com/steelerfan15212)!
Let me pause my typing for a moment to give you one of my deliberate slow claps.
I hope you are proud of the fact that you got tickets, proud of the fact that you’re teaching your children some very shitty lessons about being a decent human being, and proud of the fact that you sir are a giant, bragging, asshole who should have just taken his 16 tickets and slinked away like the slimy sucky ball of slime you are, NOT headed to Craigslist to taunt your unlucky fellow child rearers then proudly boasted about it to the Trib.
Bite me, Brian Lanz.
You’re the next Annoying Burgher. Your crown is in the mail, and by crown I mean a bloody, praying mantis-impaled hummingbird.