Random n@.

1. Absolutely nothing — not crazed speeding lunatics scrolling furiously on their Blackberrys, not lane-weaving soccer moms putting on mascara while driving the Parkway, not old granddaddys blazing down the fast lane of the Turnpike at 34 miles per hour, — NOTHING gives me a case of “whip out a gun and bust a cap in your ass” road rage like the assholes that change lanes inside the city’s tunnels.

Seething hate.

2. An email from the Judge:

Hey PG — Randy on DVE’s Morning Show gave you another plug a few minutes ago. He was discussing Ravenstahl’s “original” quote about tearing down an arena to build a neighborhood, and the fact that you called him on it. Randy said you always do great work, are on top of everything.

Randy Baumann is totally in love with me. I don’t know how my self-united husbands are going to feel about that, jealous imaginary bunch that they are.

Just the other day, we were having imaginary brunch in my head when David Conrad turned to me and said, “Forsooth, I don’t like all these guys worshiping you and ‘facebooking’ you.” To which Daniel Sepulveda replied, “Dude. Leave her alone. It’s all in fun.” This prompted Matt Lamanna to put down his imaginary scone and declare, “Suzhousaurus belongs to a strange group of dinosaurs called therizinosaurs.”

A horrible imaginary fight complete with flying crumpets ensued in my head, because when Matt uses big words, it pisses Daniel off to no end.

3. Scene in an elevator:

Elevator attendant: Going down, Miss Carlisle?

Twanda Carlisle: Yes. Going down.

She’s sooooo screwed, ya’ll. I smell a jail cell.

4. I am in serious love with the new show Chuck.

5.  A local Burgher is up for Cosmo Magazine’s most eligible bachelor.  Check him out.

6.  Click here to watch video of the Joey Porter/Levi Jones casino brawl.  Man, what brought this violence on?  Did one of them switch lanes inside a tunnel?





15 Comments

  1. danopsu
    October 16, 2007 9:45 am

    Sorry PG…still dont like Randy from DVE…all of your other self uniting husbands are cool but Randy? ehhh…nope…total dueker



  2. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 16, 2007 9:54 am

    6. Wow! Joey looks like a real thug. They were kicking Levi’s ass. I guess Joey wants to be the next recruit in the PFL (Prison Football League). He should be in good company with Vick, OJ, Pac-man, and Carruth.



  3. Bulldog
    October 16, 2007 9:55 am

    Is it just me or is anyone else thinking that being nominated by your mom for “Most Eligible Bachelor” should be an automatic disqualifier? Just asking…



  4. chrys
    October 16, 2007 10:18 am

    Bulldog..LOL!!! I have the “ewww” reaction about a mom nominating her son as sexiest anything..yuk.. though he is very much a hot guy!

    As for Joey Porter.. anger management .. asap!



  5. Bram R
    October 16, 2007 10:59 am

    Wow, “facebooking” sounds really dirty when imaginary David Conrad says it using scare-quotes.



  6. kate
    October 16, 2007 11:14 am

    Just have to comment that I’m a displaced Burgher and read religiously. Keep up the good work! Randy was right — you’re great!

    About Cosmo’s bachelor… I particularly enjoyed the gratuitous running scene a-la Baywatch in the WTAE video.



  7. Gunn Lino
    October 16, 2007 11:36 am

    Alas and alack, Pittgirl, you need to get a grip on a few things:

    Drive in some of the less moribund and more enlightened states in the union and you will find that there is no slowing almost to a crawl on entering a tunnel, and in the interest of traffic flow changing lanes is a normal part of life,

    Twanda, I’m sorry to say will never see the inside of a jail cell, and in the interest of political correctness that’s all that can be said of that situation .



  8. Pensgirl
    October 16, 2007 1:19 pm

    #1. Holla to you, Ms. PittGirl. WORD. I haven’t actually seen it happen too much (and I used to travel the Squirrel Hill tunnels daily) but tunnel-lane-switchers make me wish I had the Batmobile so I could chase them down and make them PAY.

    #4. I tried to resist, but I couldn’t. Chuck is great.

    #5. Love how the guy’s mother, the very person who nominated him, was surprised he was accepted. “Who’d have thought someone might actually like my son!”



  9. Kat
    October 16, 2007 1:39 pm

    I use the Liberty Tunnels regularly, and the lane-switching culprits are always some backwards-ball-heat-wearing douche in a tricked out Honda Civic who is apparently too important (and too busy weaving) to notice the double white lines.



  10. Pensgirl
    October 16, 2007 2:10 pm

    Gunn Lino, I’m sure PittGirl is fine with changing lanes in tunnels where it’s ALLOWED. People who change lanes in Pittsburgh’s tunnels are the same types of people who run lights ten seconds after they turn red…those who have a dangerous disregard for traffic laws and have a tendency to cause accidents between OTHER people (like cutting off Car A, who slams on brakes, spins out, and hits Car B).

    Kat, I tend to find it’s be some self-important blowhard in a BMW or Lexus.



  11. PittCheMBA
    October 16, 2007 6:46 pm

    #5 – Smart move by Cosmo not to name Big Ben as the Burgh’s most eligible.



  12. Brando
    October 16, 2007 10:11 pm

    5. No joke…I think I was in 1st grade with a Jon Borgo. Stewart Elementary school, represent. Here I thought I was the cool one who got a fancy degree and left town. Should have stayed in Lower Burrell and had mom pimp me out to Cosmo hotties….



  13. cosmoso!
    April 15, 2008 8:52 am

    jon borgo is one of the most down to earth sincere people i have ever met and did i mention his face and body are flawless!!