It’s called, “Having some class.”

The PG is needing your help:

Before proposing, some suitors are asking the father’s permission first for the daughter’s hand in marriage.

Do you know anyone who has done this, and what do you think of the practice?

We are looking for readers to share their stories, on the record.

Why is the PG acting like this is a newfangled thing never heard of before?  Shouldn’t this be standard practice of any guy with just a modicum of class?

Right, guys? I said, RIGHT, GUYS!?!?!

Seriously dudes, if you’re planning to get married and you’re marrying a girl who has a good relationship with her father, why WOULDN’T you do the honorable thing?

Sure, my self-united husbands didn’t go to my father or anything, but in all fairness, I married myself to them before they had the chance.

Besides, my father would have been all, “Dudes … you’re IMAGINARY!”





63 Comments


  1. Overkill??
    October 18, 2007 3:31 pm

    Since at the time of my engagement, my wife’s parents were both deceased–I drove to the city of her oldest brother and talked to him (w/the ring in hand). Since I was a lot younger than her family, I thought it was the right thing to do. It bought me a lot of respect and I thought it was a way to cushion the fact that her parents wouldn’t be there on her wedding day.

    Also, I though they might be inspired to kick in some dough for the wedding (kidding)



  2. pittgirl
    October 18, 2007 3:58 pm

    The Judge is killing me. Awesome.

    Also, I bet Dennis Roddy never imagined he’d end this day with another wife.



  3. Mia`
    October 18, 2007 4:10 pm

    Brian,

    HA! You’ve proven once again that I can’t spell to save my life! I do however pronouce it correctly. Probably because I didn’t learn to speak in this area. Bright side I can enunciate, down side I changed schools so many times I never learned to spell! Thanks for the laugh at myself.



  4. returningBurgher
    October 18, 2007 5:41 pm

    too many posts to read!!!

    but i asked my father-in-law-to-be before i asked my fiancee to marry me. why? she told me to. its respectful. its not “old fashioned” or “treating as property”, its just respectful.

    the fact that he’s an (ex) marine didn’t play into my decision *at all* :o)



  5. deebee
    October 18, 2007 6:39 pm

    Wow what a hot topic!

    My husband did’t ask my father for permission to marry me but asked for his blessing after he popped the question. My family wouldn’t be able to keep a secret.

    I have teenage son and several years down the road I hope he enough respect for the girls family to do the same.



  6. Burgh Baby's Mom
    October 18, 2007 6:54 pm

    I might have slapped my now husband around if he had asked my Dad before proposing. That sad, I do think it is a sweet idea. Like y’all said, it depends on the situation.



  7. Still A. Fan
    October 18, 2007 7:42 pm

    i didnt ask, but i DID show them the ring right before we left for florida, which is where i proposed….well, sort of. i set something up with USAir where the captain came on when we got over Florida and he did the asking. it was cool. they popped some champagne and stuff. i still get mad props for doing that. i felt odd “asking”. i guess i went 50% of the way by at least letting them know up front.



  8. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 18, 2007 9:28 pm

    I am a single mom and I would like for the guy to ask me for her hand.



  9. CT
    October 19, 2007 5:26 am

    Dad walking the girl down the aisle to “give her away” is symbolic.. but the girl has already chosen her man, herself. Apples and oranges.

    I think asking her dad for permission is kind of icky. Then again I lived in Jersey for a while where certain groups at the hotel I worked at would display a bloody sheet to the wedding reception guests after the deed had been done and the bride was deemed acceptable, undamaged goods.



  10. Kelli
    October 19, 2007 8:24 am

    I couldn’t imagine a man I would want to marry that would ask my dad for his “blessing”.

    Nor can I ever see my dad “giving me away”. Nope, no way. He won’t be walking me down any aisle. He can sit with everyone else.



  11. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 19, 2007 12:12 pm

    I hear ya Kelli. My daughter feels the same way about her deadbeat dad. She didn’t even dance with him at her sweet 16. I guess it all depends upon the relationship the young lady has with her dad. I’m a bit older so I would not expect a guy to ask my dad but my dad and I have a great relationship and I would want him to walk me down the aisle.



  12. Joe Magarac
    October 19, 2007 10:09 pm

    I asked my father-in-law for his blessing in a classic Pittsburgh way: I walked to their place in Greenfield while she was at a Clarks concert. As in many families, my mother-in-law was and is the power behind the throne, so I ended up asking both in-laws at the same time (while directing the question to the father-in-law).

    I think my in-laws were touched by the gesture for all the reasons that people here have already given: if I married their daughter, they would be seeing a lot of me, so they were glad to have the pretense of being able to stop the wedding. We had a great chat that evening about marriage in general, including why they thought they had managed to stay married when so many people in this country do not. (Luck and humility seemed to be the best answers).

    I look back on that evening as one of my favorites: not as great as the night I proposed or the night we got married, but much better than my average Tuesday. I don’t often talk with my in-laws without my wife around, and the chance to see them for a brief moment as people in their own right (and not just as parents of my wife) was a privilege.

    Asking my father-in-law for his blessing was a great way to make sure my marriage to his daughter started off on the right foot. I have never, ever, regretted it.



  13. deebee
    October 21, 2007 1:20 pm

    Great story Joe!