Subtract it!!

An email from reader John A gave me a look at Lukey’s October Neighborhood Newsletter:

We continue to move forward with a comprehensive plan for addressing your public safety issues, implementing new and innovative ways of taking back our streets.

I look forward to hearing from you and working together with you as we continue to move the City forward and energize Pittsburgh’s future.

Do you realize how close he just came to the “Jackpot Phrase“? We were THIS close, you guys!!

I particularly love this line:

We have added officers in order to subtract crime and we are using technology to keep these officers out on the streets where we need them.

Who knew crime was just a simple math problem? Awesome!

Mayor Lukey (putting down his Fun Dip stick): Nate! How’s crime!?

Nate Harper: We’re seeing a major increase in violent crime, particularly gun fights on the North Side.

Mayor Lukey (doodling “I [heart] me!” on his Trapper Keeper): Well, darn it. Subtract it! That’s it, Fort Pitt!

P.S. Fun Dip rocks. Always.




  1. NoSide15212
    October 19, 2007 10:29 am

    Evidently, Luke’s Crime Math formula isn’t working:

    Add to that the spray of gunfire twice earlier this week and the two hour response time to a “shots fired” call to 911. In all fairness, the North Side sub-station is located almost two blocks from where the shots were fired. In the second incident the police showed up, only to begin ticketing residents cars which were parked facing the wrong direction.

  2. CapitolMAN
    October 19, 2007 11:25 am

    “implementing innovative ways” … “subtract crime”…

    I’m sorry, Luke. I don’t speak business. Can you put away the PowerPoint and talk to me like a real human being would?

    Punch you in the face, Mayor Wunderkind.

  3. Pensgirl
    October 19, 2007 12:42 pm

    Adding troops to subtract crime…isn’t that the “rationale” behind the Iraq surge? Oh Lord, now Lukey’s taking his bad ideas right from the administration.

  4. joey
    October 19, 2007 1:17 pm

    Pensgirl is right…this sounds like something that would come out of W’s mouth….add officer…subtract crime…move forward…

  5. mc
    October 19, 2007 3:47 pm

    I love your blog! it’s hilarious. police union just endorsed desantis, keep up the good work!

  6. mc
    October 19, 2007 3:47 pm

    I love your blog! it’s hilarious. police union just endorsed desantis, I’m guessing he’s better at math than Lukey. Keep up the good work!

  7. mc26
    October 19, 2007 3:55 pm

    I love your blog! It’s hilarious. The police union just endorsed DeSantis for mayor. He’s way better at math than Lukey. Keep up the good work.

  8. Richmond K. Turner
    October 19, 2007 3:57 pm

    “… on his Trapper Keeper”! Now that’s a funny line!

  9. jarred is fine
    October 19, 2007 4:26 pm

    my dad says “that’s it, Fort Pitt” at the end of sports games. i never knew others did as well.

  10. chrys
    October 19, 2007 5:53 pm

    Is Lukey even old enought to have had a Trapper Keeper??

  11. Pensgirl
    October 19, 2007 7:30 pm

    Good question chrys…he’s right on the cusp. From knowing when I had one and how old he would have been at the time, I’m thinking they were popular when he was in 1st-3rd grade. Did the kids in those grades have them? It’s not like they would have had much reason to need something like that.

  12. prez1911
    October 19, 2007 7:35 pm

    pittgirl, great blog,

    that’s it fort pitt……fort pitt was a local pittsburgh beer that was from the duquesne brewery i think, that was one of their ad slogans

  13. Maria in Pgh
    October 20, 2007 2:33 pm

    Luke as W? Lets see:

    Comes from politically connected family? CHECK for both

    Can’t admit mistakes? CHECK for both

    Social conservatives? CHECK for both

    Can’t stop screwing up? CHECK for both

  14. Lukey for mayor
    October 26, 2007 11:44 pm

    well MARIA you are right on one account. He does come from a politically connected family, i would say anyone who has politically stable family background would make a great mayor uh hem (clears her throat) LUKE.

    As for the mistake of him supposed to be at a meeting when he is at a game..Some else’s mistake for sending out the letters

    A ride to the concert..they offered him,said it was okay, why not take it.

    i wouldn’t focus on what the media says, hasn’t anyone told ya that?

  15. Pingback: Ephedra.

  16. Pingback: Soma.