[gag]

Today is Halloween. Today is NOT April Fools Day. So trust me when I tell you that this shit is for reals.

Apparently 23-year-olds are too mature for 84-year-old Joe Hardy, because that fat old ugly geezer went and found himself a TWENTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD HOTTIE WHO IS WILLING TO SLEEP WITH HIS FAT OLD GEEZER WHEEZING SELF.

Now, he’s being romantically linked to 22-year-old Danielle Golden, of Dunbar, whose relatives said she is smitten with Hardy.

OMG. I thought when he and Kristin Georgie broke up that I could finally purge my “Ew. These will make you gag.” file of the mental image of Joe Hardy popping a handful of Viagra and getting it on with a girl sixty years his junior. But no. He had to go find another one and look, the file is open and I am gagging.

Also “smitten”? SMITTEN? You get smitten with a kitten or smitten with the boy next door or smitten with any one of my self-united husbands. You do NOT get smitten with a fat old geezer wheezing 84-year-old billionaire. It defies the laws of the universe.

You CAN however get smitten with billions of dollars.

Her name on MySpace is Dannii Marie aka “Da Dirty D.”

That’s classy.

Anyway, her current mood is “exhausted” but not exhausted with a sleeping smiley like “Wow, I just pulled an all nighter studying for finals!”, but exhausted with a smiley with x-ed out eyes and a tongue wagging.  As in physically exhausted from doing “da dirty deed” with a FAT OLD GEEZER.

Joe Hardy is a pimp.

Finally, I’m fully aware that most 84-year-old single billionaires would do EXACTLY what Joe is doing.  I am not however aware of how these girls are able to do this without daily bathing in bleach.





34 Comments

  1. Kelli
    October 31, 2007 9:17 am

    I think that “da Dirty D” refers to Dunbar, her hometown.

    (At least, on my MySpace page, that is where my hometown goes.)



  2. Shar
    October 31, 2007 9:21 am

    OMG, he is disgusting, and so is she. Little gold digger, wonder if he makes them all sign prenups now?



  3. johnny
    October 31, 2007 9:27 am

    Sorry PG, but Joe Hardy entered a self uniting marriage with you last week.
    I sent you an imaginary toaster.



  4. deegazette
    October 31, 2007 9:34 am

    I think Joe should have multiple girls all the time. It is too much pressure to be his only girl under scrutiny all the time. I think he should get a Hugh Hefner East thing going a la Girls Next Door.



  5. DW
    October 31, 2007 9:56 am

    Does she work there, too? Or does he sit on benches at local colleges looking for his next victim ‘er wife??

    I agree w/ deegazette…he just needs his own harem.



  6. BBM
    October 31, 2007 10:10 am

    As if the so-called 30-year old from the prior post wasn’t enough to make me vomit, you just had to remind me that Joe Hardy is still getting laid. Projectile puking is not how I wanted to start my day.



  7. NY Luvs Pitts
    October 31, 2007 10:14 am

    “Da Dirty D”??? I’m gonna leave it alone.



  8. jason
    October 31, 2007 10:35 am

    now, now, peeps, dont judge!

    although its hard not to.



  9. chrys
    October 31, 2007 10:49 am

    He’s a perv and she’s a baby golddigger..who wants to have sex with someone older than their grandfather???
    Happy Halloween all!!!



  10. Doug
    October 31, 2007 10:51 am

    Yeah, what Jason said. Don’t judge the super tanned (skank) tart for having dollar signs in her eyes. What self-actualized Dunbar resident wouldn’t set their sites on moving on up? Like to Bridgeville or Heidelberg. You go Super Tanned (skank) Tart!!



  11. REARless
    October 31, 2007 11:12 am

    Why doesn’t he just go to a prostitute? Seems like it would be a lot cheaper and fill the same requirements.



  12. Still A Fan
    October 31, 2007 11:17 am

    hey, what’s the matter with dunbar ;) that’s where PECHIN’s is.

    c’mon, i’m sure the last one signed a prenup as well. here’s the deal though….

    when you have nothing, and are asked to sign a prenup saying on divorce you will get $100,000 which is .0001% of his wealth….it’s still 10,000 x her wealth.

    question? why doesn’t the old fart just get escorts? they don’t want weddings. they don’t want phonecalls. it’s a win/win.



  13. Pensgirl
    October 31, 2007 11:40 am

    Now, see, here’s my take on this.

    It’s gross. Gag is the perfect title for this post.

    But if a 22YO chick is willing to do what that chick is willing to do, doesn’t she deserve boatloads of money? I mean, seriously. It’s something I could never do, would never do, and would never be asked to do because it’s obvious just to look at me that I wouldn’t do it. So if he’s willing to give it up to her because she’s willing to give it up to him, more power to ’em.

    I just don’t want to hear about it any more.



  14. ItsMe
    October 31, 2007 12:33 pm

    …just had to clean up my own puke. Yeah, why doesn’t big Joe just build a “Hef style” mansion dahn there in Uniontown an’at and fill it with all the local 20-22 year old nymphettes and their trailer park 35 year old single moms on welfare?

    Did anyone see the second Mrs. Hardy on the news this noon? Gawd, what a tart! What an ugly tart at that. When I saw her I thought it was a wrinkled old woman mask on her bleached out hair head.

    Debbie Hardy is a ho.



  15. Julie_Gong
    October 31, 2007 1:33 pm

    I’m sorry. I just threw up in my mouth… what did you just say?



  16. JP
    October 31, 2007 1:56 pm

    PECHIN’s !?! I thought that place burned down. Last time I was there was about in 1978 with my grandparents, who would not let me use the rest room there for fear of catching crabs. My grandfather then tried to explain to me what crabs were. Needless to say, halarity ensused.



  17. Uniontown ROCKS
    October 31, 2007 3:08 pm

    JH doesnt seem to get how pathetic this looks. I dont know one person who would say this doenst make you uncomfortable in some way. It’s sad that he keeps trying to buy happiness. He ha SO many things, some he shares with us at his place up the mountains , he keeps buying more stuff. But he has lost ANY credibility he ever had slim that it was. Cant his daughters talk any sense into him?



  18. Zsa
    October 31, 2007 3:14 pm

    JP, the original did burn down:

    http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/mostread/s_457500.html

    but apparently they’re still operating in Laurel Mall. (I’ve never been there, and I don’t even have to think twice to guess that Fashion Bug is probably the classiest store in Laurel Mall.)



  19. Queen Bee
    October 31, 2007 3:41 pm

    UniontownROCKS…to answer your question…NO! Absolutely NOT! His daughters are just as CRAZY as he is. They can’t help the situation…in fact they are just perpetuating the situation. It was Maggi that introduced Joe and Kristen Georgi.

    And yes, the original Pechin’s did burn down…some say it was accidental…I say otherwise. When I was about 8 I watched a cat give birth to kittens in the “cereal aisle”. Can’t go near a bowl of morning breakfast cereals to this day!



  20. parking chair
    October 31, 2007 5:06 pm

    well, hey, now her current mood is “annoyed” – look what we’ve done to her. Now poor Dannii will have to start spelling her name with 3 “i’s” so people will know how perkylicious she really is!

    hang in there, Danniii, hang in there.



  21. MountaineerHoo
    October 31, 2007 5:29 pm

    Does the Laurel Mall even have a Fashion Bug? Pechin’s is operating in the space where the Montgomery Ward used to be, and I think they have some sort of “deli” in downtown Uniontown. I know when I was little and my parents would go to Pechin’s to buy things in bulk, I would start bawling because I hated going there so much. However, cats birthing in the cereal aisle (or falling into buggies from the ceiling — no lie) and old doors from the Westmoreland Mall aside, that bakery had the best pepperoni rolls.
    And what guy would want to hook up with Danniiiiii after they find out she’s been doing the nasty with JH? Ew.



  22. ItsMe
    October 31, 2007 5:34 pm

    You know, with all that money poor rich bitch Debbie the tart can’t do anything to make that ugly face look any better. What a bimbo. I think she may have spent one to many sessions in the tan booth as she looks pretty hardened and/or used. Guess that doesn’t matter when you have that kind of money. You can take the trash out of the trailer park but you can’t take the trailer park out of the trash.

    As far as the $10k she is donating to the women’s shelter. How generous!! That $10k to her is like me dropping a quarter to them. She should have donated some of the bling she had to wear to court today.

    Go away, all of them.



  23. PittCheMBA
    October 31, 2007 6:29 pm

    Smitten with his big wallet.



  24. KGC
    October 31, 2007 6:49 pm

    Woohoo, can’t wait until I’m 84. Oh. You have to be rich too? Never mind. (/RoseAnnaDanna)



  25. nellie
    October 31, 2007 9:54 pm

    I have a really, really hard time with someone over 50, 60, 70, 80(yuck) dating (screwing,marrying)someone who is young enough to still be on her parents health insurance. I ‘duno, maybe it’s just me.



  26. greg
    November 1, 2007 6:59 am

    too gross to think about. She must really want out of Dunbar bad…….



  27. GeeO
    November 1, 2007 12:18 pm

    I think them thar hills are LOADED with these types of gals. They all inter-marry anyway.



  28. Ms. Mon
    November 1, 2007 2:18 pm

    Dear PittGirl readers: I think I can answer your questions about Pechin’s with a couple of photos.

    http://www.msmonongahela.blogspot.com



  29. Matt H
    November 1, 2007 4:25 pm

    Now she is cheerful but still won’t accept my friend request.



  30. Matt H
    November 1, 2007 4:26 pm

    She is a St. Vincent grad and is at Cal U for grad school now.



  31. Bram R
    November 1, 2007 9:48 pm

    friend request? oh now THAT is teh classy, h-bomb!



  32. Traffic Guy 1.0
    November 1, 2007 10:35 pm

    Geezus, who wants to blow their big wad of cash the quickest, Joe Hardy or Dickie Mellon-Scaife? I think it’s a plot by Joe to blow off all of the estate before he buys the farm so his heirs get absolutely NOTHING! Except the last “Da Dirty D” in another fat alimony payoff! Do this Joe, go Jack Whitaker and blow it all on trucks, hookers, gambling and booze…AKA the redneck four-play! If Jack could do it with $350M plus, you shouldn’t have a problem at all!

    I liked Tony Randall and James “Scotty” Doohan back in their days. But when they produced offspring well past their 70th birthdays, it just weirded me out big time. And not too long ago, Bernie “Doc” Kopell was on a “Love Boat” reunion on “Good Morning America” showing off his young kids. He’s 74 gang! Just one more thing to make me go “Ewwwww!”



  33. Traffic Guy 1.0
    November 1, 2007 10:43 pm

    BTW Danni is CHEERFUL as of 10:30 PM….Joe must have plugged her and sent her off to Nemacolin’s tanning salon. I wonder if Danni’s going to look like Debbie 15-20 years down the road with that tan?

    Lifestyles Of The Rich And Redneck. Got to love it. Got to LOVE IT!



  34. mb
    November 3, 2007 8:59 am

    The way I see it, bleach only costs a couple bucks a bottle.

    Alimony and spousal support from a millionaire?

    PRICELESS.