Monthly Archives: October 2007

Random n@.

1. 5,000 pigeons in a car. For real.

I want my mommy. For real.

See. THIS is exactly why I try to be a good person. Because if I’m going to hell, you know Satan is watching this video all, “Oh, man. PittGirl is going TO LOVE THAT!”

(h/t Goob)

2. Oh, just another Sidney Crosby rocks article.

This is a kid who had to be forbidden from attending optional skates last season by coach Michel Therrien. He’s a guy who insisted on going into the Penguins’ offices last year and personally thanking the sales team. On his own, he called Angelo Esposito, the 20th overall pick in June’s draft, and welcomed him to the organization.

and

It’s been tagged the “House that Sidney Crosby Built.”I don’t know about that,” Crosby said, laughing. “I think the fans earned it with the support they’ve shown during tough years in Pittsburgh. The fans really stuck behind the team, and they deserve to get a new rink. As players last year, we wanted to make sure we played as well as possible so we could do our part.”

and

“He’s just a solid person. Between the ears and inside the chest, he’s a special guy.”

Okay, this is nuts. No way can a kid read about and hear about how awesome he is over and over again and it NOT impact his ego. Somebody needs to say something bad about Sidney Crosby before he buys into the hype. I’ll start.

Sidney Crosby, you smell! Yeah, it’s like that!

3. Troysus said:

“I’m not talking about me in particular, but the role that I play as our strong safety. So, I’m not being smart by saying I’m playing 4-2 football. I’m speaking sincerely. We have four wins and two losses. Those two losses have a lot to do with me.”

Awww. It’s okay! We still love you. Like I said, you’re totally going to show up next week and you’re going to get an interception and a sack. I know it.

(h/t NYLuvsPitts)

4. Look, I know it’s art and I’m not trying to pick on art, but I just want you to know that I lost my shit at :17 and then again at 1:17.


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What they’re really thinking: Slutty edition.

This newfangled phenomenon of fantasy football has injected a decidedly odd element to family football game-watching.

My brother-in-law was cheering for his quarterback Benny, but would occasionally erupt in a frenzied “HOUSH!!!!!!” before rushing off to see where his fantasy team stood due to TJ Houshyaddayadda’s latest catch.  There was me who was really wishing Carson Palmer wouldn’t throw a single touchdown because I had benched him in my league in favor of Jeff Garcia and I didn’t need him putting up points that were useless to me.  So I was cheering for Cincy to run the touchdowns in.  But I also freaked out happily when Housh had a reception.

For those in my family that DON’T have any fantasy shit going on, they kind of look at the rest of us like we’re a skewer short of city chicken.

I kid you not, when I play him and Carson Palmer hits TJ Housh for touchdowns, I flip the hell out like the Pirates won the pennant.  Sigh.

Onward.

1.  Benny’s pre-game prayers were very effective.  I gotta wonder if maybe God is spending too much time helping Benny and saving the lost soul of Jeff “Skeeve” Reed that he’s forgotten completely about Troysus.

Benny was solid.  Did you see him complete a pass after scrambling like nuts and as he was being brought down by a Beagle wrapped around his ankles?  And that pump fake on the Hines Ward touchdown?  That’s football as art.

2.  Hines “I Shit Sunshine” Ward was finally back to his old hijinks.  How I missed him and his permanent grin and I didn’t even know it.  Look at this boy:

He NEVER stops smiling. I’m pretty sure you could walk up to Hines Ward, kick him in the balls, and he’d smile and hand you a lollipop.

3.  The Bengals were pretty much outplayed for a good portion of the game with the Steelers treating them like the criminals that they are.

4.  The Asshat is totally making me love him.   Gorgeous catches.

5.  As usual, it looked like a home game didn’t it?

Where’d all the Beagles fans go?

Oh, there they are, holding the most original fan towel EVER!

Yeah.  You really, really wish.

Great game on the whole.

Next week?  I’m pretty sure Troysus is going to show up.


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PittGirl Mines Craigslist … and you die a little inside.

1.  Dear single men of the Burgh, if your ad on Craigslist includes the phrasing:

and im safe and sane, not some crazy nut.

… you should NOT immediately follow that bold declaration of your safeness and sanity with any of the following pictures:

Because picture number one is a perfect illustration of your crazy and picture number two is a perfect illustration of your nuttiness … not to mention your really unfortunate fashion sense.

And certainly don’t post a photo of you wearing your holey wrestling underwear.

Yikes!

(h/t Matt H)

2.   This short Burgher just wants a short woman who is impressed with his twig.  No.  Really.  HIS TWIG!

(h/t Matt H)

3.   Um.  Lock up your daughters.  He’s a biter.

4.   OMG!  I found his girl!  I am like the matchmaker to the vampires.

5.  Heh.  I just need a doc that will give me my Oxycontin and not ask any questions, damn it!


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Random n@.

1.  Brrr.  A brisk 31 degrees this morning forcing me to actually de-ice the PittGirlMobile and to break out the winter coat.  Awesome.

2.  I suck at fantasy football.  But not as bad as Woy sucks.  I’m currently in 8 out of 12 places in the Sportsocracy league.  I hate Tom Brady, yo.

3.  This weekend I went to a birthday celebration at Diesel where sister of PittGirl and I were hanging out on the upper level enjoying watching the dancers below and snarking on the fact that every chick in the place was dressed as a naughty nurse or CatWoman.  And  there were TWO, yes TWO sluttly Little Bo Peeps.  Swear it.  Of course the highlight of the night was the guy dressed as a feminine hygiene product.  Wait.  I mean a USED feminine hygiene product.

Gross is right.

The OTHER highlight of the night was saying “Hey!” to a wasted Jeff Reed who was there with what can only be described as his entourage of short guys.

After my sister freaked out in the most freaky-out manner possible because she hugged Jeff Reed, we headed down to the restroom where we got in line and were immediately followed by two wasted hot blonde chicks wearing pink bras and shiny pink micro-miniskirts (I guess they went to Halloween as sluts this year.  Or maybe hookers.  I don’t know.)

We then watched as Jeff Reed walked up to one of them, kissed her full on the mouth, let the kiss register on her shocked face for a moment while he turned to her friend and did the same to her.

He is such a skeeve.

Of course, I say that as a girl.

As a guy, you’re thinking … “lucky bastard” because you would very much like to be able to walk up to random drunk hot slutty chicks in bars and kiss them without warning and NOT be slapped across the cheek with a restraining order, because despite the fact that you may be kind of short and kind of fug, you’re a short fug STEELER, baby!

Anyway, here’s his back right after he kissed the girls.

And that’s the nose and blond wig of one of the chicks he kissed.

Hot.

4.   In case you haven’t heard yet, Kevin Smith will be filming for two months in the Burgh next year.  I’m not a huge fan, but if YOU are … SQUEEE!

5.  Did you hear about that Drunk Dumbass (that’s the scientific term) that fell from a roof in Oakland and got wedged between two buildings for hours?  I wouldn’t normally post it because you know, it’s just another Drunk Dumbass college kid, and unless he was up there shooting pigeons or at the very least smoking weed with Lukey, I really don’t give a damn.

However, KDKA awesomely wrote:

“I heard somebody screaming while I was in there. I went to go see who it was,” said witness Tim Schwartz. “I went up on our roof, and finally went up on the fuel and photo roof and found a kid in the hole between the two buildings.”

KDKA?  Yeah, I’m just guessing as a shot in the dark (hope I hit a pigeon) that Tim said the “FUEL AND FUDDLE” roof.

Hometown advantage.

Heh.


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Whoa! Did you see that flying pig?!

I can’t believe I’m going to write this post.

Here goes.

In response to being named to the Steelers All-Time team, Hines said:

It’s one of the biggest honors that anyone can be a part of, next to the Super Bowl

Alan Faneca said:

It leaves you speechless. There’s not really a whole lot that I can say that would express how you feel to be honored that way.

Joey Porter said:

It’s definitely an honor. I’ve had a lot of achievements and [accomplished] a lot of goals, but, beside winning the Super Bowl, being voted on that team I definitely would have to say, as far as playing football, that would be my second-highest goal ever.

Troysus said:

My wife doesn’t even know about it. I don’t know what it has to do with anything, quite honestly. It really doesn’t have much to do with anything, but I don’t want to disrespect anyone because I know people do care about things like this.

Okay, Troysus, you know I love you so much that you’re practically my other religion, but this, “I am a child of God; I care not about this worldly world; my wife is a beautiful flower; peace be with you” stuff is great and all, but come on, would it kill you to at least TRY to care a little bit?!

What it has to do with anything, quite honestly, is that your fans have taken it upon themselves to vote you onto an All-Time team while you’re only in your twenties … letting you share legacy space with the Steel Curtain, Franco Harris, Mean Joe Greene. Are these names ringing a bell?

It means that you should cut the crap, say “thanks, it’s quite an honor,” and THEN go about your prayer time and wife-worshiping time.

There’s nothing in the Bible that says you can’t care about things on Earth and show a little gratitude to your fellow man every once in a great frickin’ while. I mean, FAKE IT, for crying out loud.

Okay, I’m done. I still love you.


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