Red shirted.

So the Safety Ambassadors, huh?

Downtown workers, residents and visitors can now take advantage of a free safety program, courtesy of the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership. The Safety Escort Program is a service designed for anyone Downtown looking for a little extra security going from one location to another. Safety Ambassadors will accompany an individual to their requested destination, whether to a vehicle, an office or a building.

Starting Monday, November 12, their new uniform will be a vibrant red, making them even easier to spot on a busy street.


The goal is for the Safety Ambassadors is to provide extra security as you go from one place to another. Okay, here’s the deal. Have you seen the Safety Ambassadors? Not exactly the fittest bunch of people to ever don a billy club.

I’m pretty sure if I was being escorted by one of these dudes and we were accosted by say some thugs, I would be the one unleashing fists of fury and waving imaginary nunchuks while the Safety Ambassador fumbled for his flashlight so he could better see the sidewalk on which he would be making his hasty retreat.

I could be wrong. Maybe on the outside they look like Jack Black but on the inside they’re all Jackie Chan.

I guess the point is that ladies will be less likely to be accosted if they aren’t alone, so we can’t fault that logic.

Either way, I don’t need to worry.  I’ve got my imaginary self-united husbands to protect me.  Yeah, David uses his hotness to burn them, Daniel kicks them in the ass so hard they land in the Mon (ding), and Matt just educates them to death.

(h/t M)


  1. Gunn Lino
    November 8, 2007 1:16 pm

    Pardon me dear, does this red make me look fat(ter)?

  2. your imaginary husbands
    November 8, 2007 3:42 pm

    That, and the fact that you’re A MAN!

    Our fine city has some decent cross-dressers, but a dude in womens’ gear is still a dude in womens’ gear. So the real question is: do the Safety Ambassadors provide extra security for men in drag?

    Whaddya think, McYippy? We haven’t heard from YOU lately. A surprise, considering all the free time you must have on your hands these days. HA!

  3. PittCheMBA
    November 8, 2007 9:16 pm

    Not exactly the Guardian Angels.

  4. Ruth Ann Molloy
    November 8, 2007 10:39 pm

    Catch me up. I’m new here. Who are Matt and Daniel?

  5. pittgirl
    November 8, 2007 10:59 pm

    Ruth Ann,

    Matt is Matt Lamanna of the Carnegie Museum of Natural History and Daniel is Daniel Sepulveda, punter for the Steelers.


  6. NoSide15212
    November 9, 2007 4:51 am

    You’re mean. Stay home in Irwin today.

  7. Ed Heath
    November 9, 2007 7:08 am

    Red shirts.


    Have fun beaming down to the planet, and can you write down that it is ok for me to have your spare boots and phaser, … you know, *just* in case something happens to you.

  8. Andy
    November 9, 2007 7:36 am

    I’m afraid I agree. I’d not trust a sandwich, let alone myself with the Safety Ambassadors.

    They don’t carry ‘protection’ equipment do they? Are they qualified to protect a person in need at all?

    Didn’t they just start out as pretty much giving directions to tourists?

    I think a lot of this is to try and make people feel better.

  9. MYOB
    November 10, 2007 2:00 pm

    You have no idea what it’s like to be a Safety Ambassador, do you? The shit that they have to deal with every day, putting themselves in danger to help people, only to see posts in crappy blogs like this one demoralizing them? Why don’t you go out on the street every day, no matter what the weather, and put yourself in the line of fire, then come back here and tell me what you think about it. You know, when you bitch about the people who live in this city you claim to “love”, you only make the city (and yourself) sound bad.

    You should remove this entry, before you anger anyone else.

  10. Annoyed
    November 10, 2007 2:36 pm

    I read your blog and I have to say that your attitude angered me. I think that it is wonderful that there are Safety Ambassadors. As time goes on it’s becoming increasingly evident that a lot of places just aren’t as safe as they used to be. I know I’d be more comfortable walking with someone then be by myself.
    Not only are you insulting the organization but you are insulting the employees who work really hard and care about what they do and you’re also insulting the people that love them and excuse my bluntness but that’s NOT ok.
    I’d recommend taking this blog down before you hurt anybody elses feelings.

  11. Anthony
    November 10, 2007 3:52 pm

    I’m guessing MYOB is the one on the left and Annoyed is the dude with man boobs on the right.

    Regardless, I think these safety ambassadors would be very helpful fending off a rogue attack from the likes of a donut or a chili dog.

  12. Honest
    November 11, 2007 11:03 am

    Have you ever considered talking to a safety ambassador? It’s amazing some of the shit they have to put up with. Most of their time gets spent dealing with borderline psychotic homeless people. In most cases they just have to deal with disgusting behavior (often involving bodily fluids). But quite often though things get violent. Since the program started apparently two have been put in the hospital. I’ve spoken to quite a few of them, and most have backgrounds with either the police or the military. The man on the right has taken two bullets (and is a comic book fanatic). The man on the left survived a tragic housefire (and can directly quote metalocalypse for almost any occasion).

    Try getting to know someone before you smear them on the internet.

  13. Anthony
    November 11, 2007 4:42 pm

    That’s a guy on the left?