1. Here’s all the things I’m hoping shrivel up and die today: The Parkway East, assholes in Jeeps on the Parkway East, couple of pigeons, the writers strike, Tom Brady always, the adults who were to be supervising these kids, and maybe some more pigeons.
2. All right you legal eagles out there, best guesses as to how much time, if any, Twanda Carlisle is going to serve for pleading no contest to being a greedy greedy thief?
She faces a maximum of 85 years and $173,000 in fines. Prosecutors said they have no recommendation yet on what her sentence should be.
“I ask for your continued prayers and support through this challenging time in my life,” she concluded.
Okay. First of all, she does not apologize anywhere in the letter. Second of all, I understand that a tenet of Christianity is that everyone does wrong and I get the whole, hate the sin love the sinner thing. But man is it chafing my ass in a major way that Twanda is asking us to support her in this “challenging time in [her] life” as if she is fighting cancer or suffering the loss of a loved one, rather than being rightly punished for willfully and knowingly stealing from the taxpayers she was elected to serve.
I bet Troysus and Daniel are praying for my soul right now.
3. Aaaaaaaaaaand, DRINK!
“I will make a recommendation to the Planning Commission to support the process and continue to move it forward as quickly as possible,” Ravenstahl said.
Thanks, Lukey! I’ve been dying for a Grasshopper since it was featured recently on Big Bang Theory.
4. Kickassest hockey arena ever?
The signature piece of the $290 million building will be a glass atrium that will stretch between Fifth and Centre avenues and run from 40 to 80 feet high, offering sweeping views of the Downtown skyline. An outdoor plaza will overlook the city on the Fifh Avenue side, some 80 feet above ground.
Inside, the arena will offer the cream of the crop in terms of amenities, including a high-definition video scoreboard, wider and more comfortable seats, and more spacious concourses.
Parts of the building also will feature “open” concourses, where fans will be able to grab a hot dog or a drink while watching the action unfold on the ice below.
Kickassest hockey arena ever!
5. From the latest Cat’s Call:
DEAR CAT: My boyfriend loves his cat — to the point that right after sex, when I expect to be held, he cuddles with the cat! Your thoughts about this? — SECOND TO CUDDLE
DEAR SECOND: Sorry, no can think straight when laughing so hard. If you’re truly bothered by his canoodling, speak up about it. And if that doesn’t work …
Cat’s Call: Try meowing.
Hey, does anyone out there want to pay me to publicly laugh at advice-seekers in my advice column? Anyone at all?