1. Football post coming after I’m done cursing every black and gold thing I see … including the roads, mocking me with their black and gold motif.
2. The PG DID blow me away with their Matt Lamanna coverage. Er. I mean their dinosaur coverage.
Also, if you’re looking for more information about my imaginary self-united husband’s fiancee (well, that was a weird sentence to write), check her out here.
As I wrote to a reader, if Matt Lamanna ever tries to leave the Burgh for a position elsewhere, I will chain his hot, smart self to Dippy. Or a pipe in my basement.
(h/t M, Stasia, and Anonymous)
3. Okay, first of all, that lady in the picture needs to be shot.
Second of all:
During the meeting at Starbucks, the group discussed what to say in a planned informational flier, wondered how much it would cost to produce a banner and debated the best way to sway the public. Toward the end of the meeting, Ms. Dove asked the group, “How about having someone dress up in a pigeon costume?”
You can dress David Conrad up in a spider costume and I’m still going to RAID! the shit out of the next arachnid that dares enter my personal space or even the grass that surrounds my personal space. And you can dress up Daniel Sepulveda as a pigeon and have him give me a hug, and I’m still going to kick the next pigeon that dares to even breathe near me.
Yeah, that’ll work.
(h/t Uptown Topranking)
4. Speaking of David Conrad, a reader emailed me recently, I’ve since lost the email so I can’t remember her name, to let me know that she was working the ticket window at the box office when David Conrad approached to pick up his tickets to the ballet. Okay, kids. I think what we need is a standard statement that you should say should you ever encounter any of my self-united imaginary husbands in the flesh:
a. PittGirl writes about you all the time.
b. Do you have a restraining order against PittGirl yet?
c. Are you going to wear the new PittGirl t-shirt? Hey, you ARE wearing the new PittGirl t-shirt!
d. Do you love PittGirl? Are you aware you’re married to her?
e. PittGirl is hot.
Pick one, any one. AND SPEAK UP!
SPRINGFIELD, Pa. — State police in Mercer County said they are investigating a strange robbery.
They said that stole more than $11,000 from the glove box of a car.The car was parked outside a Super 8 motel near the Grove Mall outlet mall.
Police said the thief cut the battery cable — to disarm the car alarm — and smashed through a rear window to get to the cash.They said car belonged to two 18-year-old girls from Grove City.
Two 18-year-old girls, hanging out at a motel, with $11,000 cash in their glove box?
Hmm. This is a puzzle!
I’ll take “Drug dealing hos who got their money stolen from them by an acquaintance … allegedly” for $1,000, Alex!!!