All of the things you might have heard had you watched the game with PittGirl’s family:
- Can I just ask. Where the hell is Troy Polamalu. Seriously. Where the HELL IS TROY POLAMALU!?
- … and Nate Washington FINALLY does something!
- Son of a … mother!
- Who is calling these plays?!
- Man, Willie Parker is making some BAD decisions.
- Maybe being so close to the action, his perspective is different. Maybe he can’t see where the holes are from there.
- HE’S PAID MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO SEE THE HOLES!!!!
- Whoever is responsible for the special teams needs to be fired.
- I blame Jim and Randy for their stupid stupid “this is a game where we say we shouldn’t overlook it, but we’re going to overlook it and we’re going to win” talk.
- Son of a MOTHER!!!!!
- I can’t watch this.
- Is that the seventh sack on Benny … or the two-hundred-sixteenth? I’ve lost count.
I’m so pissed at everything and everyone that has anything to do with the entire Steelers organization that I flipped off the whole Waterfront this morning on my way through it because I know that Daniel Sepulveda lives there somewhere … and he really didn’t have anything to do with the loss, so you can imagine what I would do if I came face-to-face with say The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross today.
That’s right. A nut kicking.
1. Let’s talk Benny. Really, why can’t Benny learn to throw the ball away when he knows he’s going down? I’m all for not getting an interception, but Benny, you can’t be intercepted if you throw it to the sidelines in the general, non-specific direction of any player wearing black and gold. Try it. And also? Run!
2. However, in The Duke’s defense, apparently the offensive line took a four-quarter long nap. I mean really took a freakin’ nap right there on the field.
3. And then the defensive line allowing the Jets to run for big yardage, more yardage than we’ve allowed in like three years? The Jets!? I have pantyhose that run better than the Jets! My mascara runs better than the Jets! My neighbor’s thirty-year-old dog with two legs that died last year runs better than the JETS! God. Okay, maybe I’m being a LITTLE dramatic. I’m just so miffed.
4. Is there a rule in the Steelers play book that says, “Verily I say unto you, under no circumstances should you not run the ball on first and ten. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS run the ball on first and ten or the angry spirit of Art Rooney will haunt you until the end of your days.”
5. I’ve never seen the Steelers so ridiculously, fantastically horrible against such a ridiculously, fantastically horrible team. I’m pretty sure there were a few times the Steelers weren’t even playing the right positions!
I saw Benny line up as a wide receiver.
I saw Hines trying to break up his own receptions.
I saw Nate Washington try to … I don’t even know, but I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to catch the ball with your back.
I saw Townsend try to punt the ball.
Cabbage Patch Baby Cici Donna was playing airplane.
And you know what? I don’t even blame the Jets fans for being the assholes that they are. Because today, they’re winning assholes and the Steelers are big giant losers.