With this restraining order … I thee wed.

Reader jeh wrote:

You can bid on dinner with your self-united husband, David Conrad at the Union Project fundraiser on the 1st of December!!
Good luck and good bidding,

I can’t find anything in writing other than where it says a “celebrity hosted dinner” will be auctioned off, however I can tell you what I do know for a frickin’ fact:

1. The Union Project is a cause dear to David Conrad’s heart.

2. PittGirl will not be bidding, lest I out myself when I physically assault any woman who tries to outbid me and begin screaming while clawing at her fug face, “How dare you?! He’s mine, do you hear me?! Do you know who I am?!!”

Additional, less violent thoughts:

3. If you go and win, as one who has had lunch with David Conrad, let me tell you that you are in for a wonderful treat because David Conrad is quite simply an awesome person who will put you at ease, talk to you like a human being and not some smudge of pigeon poop on his $3,000 Italian shoe, and will do his darndest to make it like the two of you have so much in common and OMG how AWESOME IS PITTGIRL?!?!!?!

Do you really need me to read you your lines again?

4. If you go, tell him PittGirl sent you and that ’til death do us part.

Update: An email from The Union Project confirms it will be “dinner for four with actor and Pittsburgh Native/Community Activist David Conrad of Ghost Whisperer at his Pittsburgh home.”


  1. bucdaddy
    November 26, 2007 6:11 pm

    Two words, PG: Phantom bidder.

    Think like … Elaine going for the JFK golf clubs.

  2. Still A Fan
    November 26, 2007 10:02 pm

    at his home? that could get freaky.