The malleable cheese.

Lukey said:

“The rehabilitation of this century-old bridge symbolically captures Pittsburgh’s economic revival,” Mr. Ravenstahl said. “Built to support the once flourishing steel industry, the converted bridge will now support our burgeoning knowledge-based economy by linking critical places of economic development to social, research and medical centers. One-hundred years later, we have reinvented ourselves.”

The two shores of the bridge represent the breadth of the City’s economic resurgence…

Why can’t Lukey ever just say something and say it simply.

Why can’t you just eat a sandwich, Lukey, and say, “Hey, this is a great sandwich!”

Why do you always have to be all, “These slices of bread are like the salty, crusty workforce that holds our city together, surrounding the oily french fries that are the clogged arteries of our thoroughfares, and topped with the soft, malleable cheese that is my brain. This sandwich signifies everything that is right, and good, and delicious about the City of Pittsupmcburgh and I’m proud to be sitting here with myself and other individuals eating it now.”

Sometimes, Lukey, a sandwich is just a sandwich.

If I were you, I’d hold a staff meeting with whoever it is that’s writing your shit and say, “For the love of God, dudes. Make me sound human and awesome and not so much like Politicobot 2000. And if we can work some ‘move forwards’ in there, maybe we’ll get on PittGirl’s good side. Holla atcha late-ah!”

Also, this might be the most awesome thing I’ve seen all week.





11 Comments

  1. Anthony
    November 29, 2007 9:05 pm

    That photo exemplifies the verve and progress that the Ravenstahl administration offers.



  2. Bram R
    November 29, 2007 9:51 pm

    I was just tooling around facebook and noticed that one of his last fundraisers was themed Moving Forward. You are definitely having an impact. What impact is unclear.



  3. Cynthia Closkey
    November 29, 2007 9:55 pm

    I’m torn.

    Which is my favoritest-ever Pittgirl post? Is this one, with its “…surrounding the oily french fries that are the clogged arteries of our thoroughfares, and topped with the soft, malleable cheese that is my brain….” bit?

    Or is it this one, with its “Get that boy a slut!”

    I can’t decide. It’s like having to choose between imaginary self-united husbands.



  4. bucdaddy
    November 29, 2007 10:49 pm

    I hope to God Lish isn’t writing that crap.



  5. GeeO
    November 30, 2007 9:31 am

    Does this guy just read anything that’s put in front of him?



  6. M. Silenus
    November 30, 2007 9:35 am

    Wow! I laughed so hard at this post I had to wipe off my screen. Pittsupmcburgh. Definitely.



  7. a visual tinkle
    November 30, 2007 10:33 am

    That may be one of the funniest photos I’ve seen in a very long time.



  8. Acane
    November 30, 2007 12:25 pm

    Luke is a goober, and without thinking Pittsburgh voted him back in to office.



  9. Brother Anthony
    November 30, 2007 12:29 pm

    Mayors new speechwriter = Jim Tracy



  10. Ian
    November 30, 2007 3:03 pm

    OK, I think “Pittsupmcburgh” definitely needs to be pronounced phonetically, as in:

    “Pitts-Up-McBurgh”

    Definitely.



  11. Don
    December 1, 2007 10:27 am

    Ya get what ya vote for. I guess most city residents want a joke acting as mayor.