PittGirl mines Craigslist … ladddddieeeeesss!

1.  Salsa dancing, taxidermy and speed-walking.  Everything I ever wanted in a man.  And men that call us “la la ladddddieeesss”?  Hot.  But I think it’s a joke.  And so is this one.  Right?

2.   He just wants someone that will smile when he splits his pants, that’s all.  Really, ladies, why don’t more of us smile when men split their pants?  I’m going to work on that.

3.   December 8, you might want to avoid the fountain at the South Side Works because there will be taking place Santarcy Pittsburgh 2007.  WHAT?!?! is right.

4.  He’s only willing to take you if you have a few unwanted pounds.  “BUT JUST A FEW!”  This is because he’s so very ripped and buff and his muscles are so sharp they will cut you.

5.  This retired guy will run your downtown errands for you, provided he can hop the bus for free, yo.

6.   “Please ‘deem me needed’ today!”  Now, keep in mind, you can be a 32/34 C, D, or DD if you are unexceptional.  He will however take you as a 36 DD if you are exceptionalWhat an exceptional asshole.

7.   First of all, is that a leech on his face?  Second of all, I can’t tell you how regularly I hear the la la la laddddiieeeessss all “Man, I would LOVE to find me a badass!  Where have all the badasses gone?”

Where indeed.





21 Comments

  1. franklin
    December 5, 2007 12:54 pm

    Watch out, #4 is “stree smart” as well!



  2. Kat
    December 5, 2007 1:19 pm

    The chick in #1 is this woman: http://www.lesliehall.com/gemsweater/gallery/gallery1.htm

    She’s got a band called Leslie and the Lys–it’s fun stuff.



  3. joey
    December 5, 2007 1:24 pm

    #7: There is nothing I dig more than cellphone pics taken in a bathroom, except the ones taken in a public bathroom.

    Badass indeed.



  4. Moe the Dog
    December 5, 2007 1:38 pm

    Hair Stylist & Badass doesn’t seem quite synonymous. Does that mean he’ll kick your ass if you complain about your haircut, or will he shiv you with his scissors?



  5. Amanda
    December 5, 2007 2:00 pm

    I recently went on a HORRIFIC blind date experience with (what I thought was) the only normal Pittsburgh m4w personal ad on Craigslist. Stupid me, he looked nothing like his pictures and smelled like my grandpa. At least these ones aren’t trying to obscure their appearance with artful lighting and deceptive camera angles.



  6. Christine
    December 5, 2007 4:01 pm

    The badass had me when he flashed his “Hooligan” chest tattoo! A badass AND a hooligan, how can you go wrong????



  7. Leslie
    December 5, 2007 4:02 pm

    …so these are serious?



  8. back in the burgh
    December 5, 2007 4:15 pm

    Wow – PittGirl you found the best of the best here! I think I’m still in shock that these people are serious … or are they?

    Love your blog, by the way. I’ve been reading it for a few months now and appreciate it in every respect! Great job!!



  9. apk
    December 5, 2007 4:38 pm

    die laughing: check out Dating OnDemand on Comcast OnDemand. I wish I had the “scientist” that “loves broccoli” from a few years ago saved somewhere. It was priceless. Nowadays, the ladies have to settle for a recent college grad who’s “ready to get his man on” and grow up. Awesome.



  10. lolo
    December 5, 2007 4:54 pm

    #7 – HA! (Lisa Simpson laugh)
    Check out the plucked eyebrow action. And ch-ch-check the George Michaels beard action la-la-laaaddddieeesss.

    When I feel bad about still being single, PittGirl, I just check out your Craigslist picks and feel safe in my alone-ness….



  11. Melissa
    December 5, 2007 4:56 pm

    Odd. I think some of them are gags…have to be.



  12. honda driver
    December 5, 2007 5:08 pm

    stopppppp! i’m trying to eat my dinner!



  13. Gunn Lino
    December 5, 2007 5:54 pm

    I fear to tread into the depths that is Craigslist and sing you praises highly when you do. Like lolo I am content in my alone-ness knowing that there are these perils walking the night. Thank you.



  14. scottie
    December 5, 2007 5:55 pm

    Dayyyuuummnn I ain’t gettin my hair cut by a guy w/ a giant, straight scar on his face! Sorry, he might shank me while doin’ my sideburns.



  15. Ravishing Rick
    December 5, 2007 7:01 pm

    I think he got the hots for PITTGIRL, notice the lump in front of his pants



  16. spoon
    December 5, 2007 7:50 pm

    #7 sounds like a real bad ass. He’ll beat you down and do your hair at the same time



  17. Still A. Fan
    December 5, 2007 10:15 pm

    spoon, LOL!

    if you don’t get up out of my grill, i’ll feather your hair, BE-OTCH!



  18. arc72
    December 6, 2007 10:15 am

    #5 Hey, the guy’s just trying to make a buck!

    I think that’s a great service for white suburban ladies forced to work downtown…I can think of 2 right off the bat! (They always think they’re going to get raped or something running out for replacement flesh colored hose.)

    Fun blog BTW! I look at pigeons in a whole new light these days.



  19. Kat
    December 6, 2007 2:12 pm

    #3 sounds completely obnoxious. People dressed in costumes always are.



  20. Toni
    December 6, 2007 2:25 pm

    “I am educated, a writer, stree smart…and the list goes on. Please be in relatively decent shape. A few unwanted pouds is alright, it happens from this stressful society we live in.”

    Educated & a writer? Too bad he dosen’t have spell check…
    I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any unwanted POUDS, nor do I live on a STREE……..



  21. arc72
    December 6, 2007 4:39 pm

    re: Comment #2 Leslie Hall rocks! LOL She pops up in the oddest places online. Like here. :)