All the things you would have heard had you been in the room with PittGirl’s family while the Steelers got spanked by the Patriots:
- Why does Benny have to pray RIGHT before the game? So the whole stadium can watch him?
- He jumped! Did you see that guy jump the snap?! Where’s the flag?!
- Wow. I have never seen Mike Tomlin show that much emotion.
- You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you need to puke? That’s how I feel when I look at Tom Brady.
- That’s how I feel when I look at Bill Belichick.
- That’s how I feel when I look at a pigeon.
- THE DEFECATOR SCORES!!!!
- Wide open. Again.
- Oh my God, I hate Tom Brady.
- This is a joke.
- Miami needs to just put balls to the wall and beat these jackasses. (said sister of PittGirl)
- It’s a conspiracy. The NFL wants the Patriots to have a perfect season. It was the same thing with the tuck rule.
1. Perfect rainy weather this morning in honor of a perfectly horrible showing by the Steelers last night. Even the pigeons are depressed. Right before I ripped the head off of one today it said, “Thank you, PittGirl. I don’t want to live anymore.”
2. Let’s start with the good. Um. Davenport had a touchdown reception, so that’s something right?
3. Let’s see here. Benny was not intercepted, so yay! Benny.
4. Skippy Skeeve did his job of getting field goals. For all of his faults and vices, the boy sure is consistent. Even Tom Brady is impressed with him.
5. Willie Parker lost the slippery sleeves and was back to his usual 100 yards + .
6. And that’s about it. The Asshat was nowhere to be found after making one measly catch. The defense couldn’t seem to get anywhere near The Death Angel. And Satan? Don’t even get me started on how much I hate him for his stupid perfect team.
7. Let’s talk Anthony Smith. You can argue that his little “guarantee” was just some careless words and that they didn’t really impact the game. But that argument is a steaming pile of poop in your closet (h/t The Defecator).
Those words not only gave motivation to the Patriots, but they also gave the Patriots a target and Anthony did no favors to the team by painting a big bullseye on his ass.
Someone needs to teach Anthony Smith the definition of guarantee, because I don’t believe he understands the meaning of the word.
You guys, I’m pretty sure my grandmother had those same earrings.
8. I understand Mike Tomlin is pissed off at him, too.
9. You must believe that the two Pats touchdowns scored on Smith’s coverage were not accidental. No, Brady was teaching Anthony a lesson and apparently Tom Brady has a Ph.D. in “Don’t Bet Against Tom Brady, Bitch.”
Don’t believe me?
So, what do you think, Pats fans? Was Brady picking Smith to pieces yesterday for no reason other than to illustrate that he reads the sports section of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette first thing every morning?
Or was it, well, you know, a coincidence?
It wasn’t the answer that Brady provided that’s of interest here, but, rather, the prolonged laughter that followed it.
He said only that Smith “ended up being in the right place at the last time,” and then he laughed. And laughed again. When the media hordes picked up on the cue and joined in on the laughing, Brady laughed some more.
So, yeah, Brady made it his business yesterday to pick apart Anthony Smith.
They’re loving Anthony Smith over there in Boston today, as this Boston Herald poll shows:
10. Here’s a little something to get you all good and riled up and ripping pigeon heads off:
How Do They Have Jobs?
The Steelers are a conglomeration of dirty players and poor sports.
The bile. It rises.
11. Ending the post on two positive notes:
A. I’d much rather lose to the Patriots during the regular season than during, say, the POST-season.
B. Look! Some Mexicans!
*”Well, thank God we’re drunk!”