My humps.


Mayor Luke Ravenstahl today asked City Council to grant UPMC tax credits in the amount of money it donates to the Pittsburgh Promise, a program to give college grants to city high school students who meet minimum grade requirements.

Question: Should I be going:

A:  Yes, Lukey, that is a great idea to reward UPMC for doing a great thing in promising $10 million a year for ten years to the Pittsburgh Promise and maybe it will encourage other nonprofits with shitloads of money to donate to the Pittsupmcburgh Promise.  Good job, Lukey!

B.  God, Lukey.  Once again, you are a sad puppy dog so desperate for love that you’ve taken to eagerly dry-humping the leg of UPMC, a nonprofit organization that made $618 million in profit on total revenues of $6.8 billion in just three quarters. I don’t believe for one nanosecond that you came up with this idea all on your own.  No, what happened was Jeffrey Romoff walked into your office and said, “Lemme tell you what’s going to happen, kiddo.  You’re going to make it ‘last-dollar’ money, the kids have to go to school here in the state because I ain’t paying for the education of anyone’s workforce but my own, and if this city ever has the gall to tax the nonprofits, you better credit me for this incredibly selfless deed I’m doing here.  Understood?  Why are you humping my leg again?  Heel, boy.  Go fetch me a warm pile of money.”

I sure hope it’s not A, because I’m B all the way.


  1. Ant Annie
    December 18, 2007 7:40 am

    Not a bad return on investment for UPMC – pay for Luke’s golf outing with Mario and get millions in tax breaks. Give that guy a bonus!

  2. GeeO
    December 18, 2007 8:25 am

    Lil’ Lukey is doing whatever the big boys tell him to do. Sounds like this was part of the deal from the outset.

  3. Joey
    December 18, 2007 8:40 am

    Sounds to me like a job for that non-existent Ethics Board!

  4. Um, B.
    December 18, 2007 10:58 am

    Luke and UPMC? B.

    Hit it, Mr. Dylan:

    Oh, it’s B, babe.


    Oh, it’s B, babe.


    Yeah, it’s B, babe,

    Oh, it’s B, oh yeah, for sho’, babe.

    Now stop wasting your energy on Lukey and go see “I’m Not There”.

  5. Frank
    December 18, 2007 10:58 am

    How many more tax breaks could UPMC possibly get? They are already a non-profit!

  6. Ed Heath
    December 18, 2007 4:51 pm

    Just to be contrary, UPMC is talking about not giving the city a million and a half, but they are giving the Pittsburgh Promise 10 million. They sure are financial geniuses over there at UPMC.

  7. PittCheMBA
    December 18, 2007 10:23 pm

    UPMC charges health care providers over $100 for a $20 flu shot. UPMC pays for Lukey to play golf at Mario’s charity event. I am all for kid’s education, but UPMC does not need Lukey’s help.

  8. jeeperz
    December 19, 2007 7:40 am

    I agree with you PittChe…if they get anymore tax breaks, we’re basically paying for them to stay…sorry Lukey…lets move forward….

  9. Paul
    December 19, 2007 8:47 am

    “I agree with you PittChe…if they get anymore tax breaks, we’re basically paying for them to stay…sorry Lukey…lets move forward….”

    And what’s new about this? More than half of the jobs located in the city are only there because the city used tax money to lure them into town… See this is how it works; first the city goes to the state and county and gets money collected from residents out side the city to bribe companies to relocate their facilities by building condos for the Piatts, office space for PNC, housing projects in Sq. Hill, arenas for billionaire sports team owners etc etc. Then once the jobs have been moved into the city they complain about having to provide services for all the people who come into the city to work and don’t pay taxes, the solution to which is get more tax money from them which is used to then bribe more businesses into moving to the city so they can complain about having to provide services, so they can get more taxes … and on and on it goes.

    It’s the system that been in place since Richard Caliguri that’s worked so well. Well, it hasn’t worked for the city, or the region, or the tax payers, but it sure has worked for the gangsters down on Grant Street and that’s really all that matters isn’t it?

  10. Me
    December 19, 2007 11:41 am

    I love how a non-profit is able to give that much money to another non-profit. Isn’t there something wrong with the whole idea of “non-profit” when profits, er, excuse me, “surpluses” equal $618 million???